A New Life: Sequel to Because of a Death

Chapter 7

Riley's POV:

Something just felt wrong. Off. Different. Strange. And I couldn't place it. It wasn't the first time I felt like this. Ever since I woke up, I never have felt right. Maybe it was because I was pushed back into real life to fast. Dropping all their little secrets on me the same day I came back to reality. Pulling me out of the hospital, only running a few tests, thinking everything would be fine.

But it wasn't. Not even close.

There were a million things I was questioning. Like the scar that ran down my chest. Where did I get that? Was it from Marisa? Another accident? My own foolishness? And what about a will? Wouldn't the house and all of her money be left in my name? Who was her lawyer? What happened to her bank account? What's happening back home, right now? Is the house sold? That place where all my memories lie? Would I remember if I went there? How come I have never seen a picture of Marisa? She's my mother and I don't know what she looks like. Why aren't there social workers checking up on me? Doctors, psychiatrists, therapists? Aren't scarred people like me supposed to get help? Was my hair always blonde, or is it permanently died? I mean, Marks is brown, and Brads is brown, too. So what's color of hair did Marisa have?

And Hanna.

She wanted me because of Olivia. Because I looked like her dead daughter. If Hanna had never seen that baby picture of me, would she still have got me? Why did she take Abbey, too? Why did Abbey and Jake just watch me leave? Did they feel any regret, remorse, or sadness? Or where they happy that I was leaving? One less problem in their life.

Or Diamond. That horse was the reason for all of my current doubles. Because of her I have no reconciliation of my past. And how do I remember all of these words, and yet I forgot what cereal was called this morning? How can I know to walk and talk and eat and move my muscles, but not remember? How is it that possible? And how come I will have a great day, feeling totally normal, and the the next I feel so sick I wanna die? Like my head won't stop spinning and I have to pronounce each word so slow or else I might collapse from tiredness. Like my legs can't support me and my heart can't thump a constant speed and my blood is flowing backwards, making my body act unnatural and feel like I'm someone else. It's horrible. And yet, I've been able to cover it up so far. On those days, I pay extra attention to every spoken word and concentrate on every little feature so I stay standing. I squeeze my side where the pain comes from and smile more than normal. I stole that bottle of Advil from the medicine cabinet and have it stashed under my mattress for those days alone. I haven't told Brad or Tiana because I'm finally starting to live a normal life. One that actually belongs in this twisted world. And for me to be pinned as weird or strange or sick is exactly what I don't want. I'm starting over. Fresh. Brand new. And quite frankly, some person that feels like they're going to die once a week is definitely not brand new. So I gotta pretend. Fake. Disguise my actions. I should win a Grammy for that. No actors in the movies I've seen can mask emotion or pain as good as me.

The doorbell ringing brought me out of my questioning. I swung my legs off of my white bed spread and stepped into the chilly hardwood floor. The smoothed my short skirt down and fluffed up my hair, taking one good look in my vanity mirror before I walked out of my room. I seemed normal, did I not? Somewhat pretty, smart, a little witty, and funny at times. A girl wanting friends and a good life? Doesn't everyone want that? I walked through the hallway and down to the door, thinking it might be Colt. Brand and Tiana were at some sort of convention that I couldn't attend, so they left me with strict orders to stay here. I stood on my tippy toes to look out the peep hole, but saw nothing.

I sighed and swung the door open. I probably enjoyed playing Nikki Nikki 9 Doors when I was younger, if I had any friends to play it with, but it was tedious for the person inside.

"Hey, Ry." I whipped my head around so fast I had to hold onto the door frame so I didn't black out. The voice, coming from inside, seemed to familiar.

There, standing inside of my foyer was Jake.

"Sup, girl." Another person stepped up beside me, from outside. Abbey. She pushed the door out of my hand and shut it behind her.

"What the heck, guys? What are you freaking doing here! And in my house!? I could get you arrested! And where the frick is Hanna? What is your problem, and how did you freaking get in here?" I started yelling at them. Were they crazy? Just coming into my house like that, my life?

They shot each other a concerned glance. Probably something along the lines of, 'Ummm, she wasn't supposed to flip like that.' Well I did, whether they like it or not.

"Wanna sit down, maybe get something to drink? I could go for a coffee. We're pretty tired and Hanna's all pissed at us cause we didn't tell her we were coming." Jake explained.

I shot daggers at him with my eyes, "Yeah, I'll let you come into my house, drink my coffee, have a nice civilized chat with me, and
Then go back home. What the heck are you doing here?
This time Abbey sighed, "well explain. Just get the good man some coffee and sit down."

"Oh, I'm sorry, I'm supposed to cater to you guys now that you just showed up at my house and demanded coffee and a talk? What are we, in London having tea with the queen? No. Get out. Now."

Jake stepped up to me, slowly and sure of himself. "No Riley. We aren't leaving until we have that chat. You can come with us and sit down for ten minutes. After you get me my coffee."

Anger bubbled up in me. So much that I didn't even realize what I was doing.

I only realized my actions when my first contacted his face.