The House She Used To Live In (Camren)

One

She contemplated suicide last night
She cried herself to sleep last night
She almost slit her wrists last night
Who would care if she was dead anyway?

She wanted to run away last night
She dreamt of disappearing last night
She felt worthless and alone last night
Who would notice if she was gone anyway?

This morning someone asked
"How are you?"

"I'm fine." She replied.
As if nothing ever happened last night.

Camila closed the journal which she had been scribbling in for the past hour. Writing or drawing what she felt really helped her sort out her messy feelings and emotions. Not that she was an amazing drawer but she enjoyed it a lot. She also wasn't the best poet either but expressing her thoughts in words helped her to come to terms with them more quickly.

Ever since her father died 5 years ago she'd been feeling horrible and depressed. The only things that kept her going throughout the years were her three amazing friends, her mom and her little sister Sofi who means the absolute most to her. She and her sister have always had an amazing bond, and Camila was glad about that.

Sofi is only 8 years old but by far the best conversational partner Camila ever had. Sofi understands her more than any of her few friends could ever, since she went through exactly the same as her. Also, she was very mature for her age. Their dad died when Sofi was only three years old. Since their mother, Sinu, had been working very hard and much over the past few years to provide them with needed food and other goods, Sofi has always had to be very independent. At the age of 5 she could already get ready in the morning all by herself without picking out clothes that didn't match at all.

Camila's friends didn't know too much about her depression. Dinah,her bestfriend, knew she was constantly feeling low so she tried to make her smile or laugh as much as possible which Camila appreciated wholeheartedly but it didn't make a change in the long run. It only made her feel better for a moment.

Today, Camila has been feeling especially depressed ever since she woke up over one and a half hours ago. It was now almost 7 AM and sooner or later she had to get up and get ready for school so she pushed her journal aside and dragged herself out of her room and into the bathroom down the hall.

The others were still fast asleep, the brown haired girl assumed, since it was dead silent in their small apartment.

When Camila turned around to face the mirror, she jumped. Her eyes looked dull and the bags under her eyes were impossible to cover with make up. Ever since her dad's accident years ago, she got more and more insecure about her looks and her confidence has been decreasing day by day.

After she pulled her hair up into a messy bun, the girl applied somelight make up and got dressed into a pair of blue high waisted jeansand a red cropped sweater.

Carefully opening the cracking door, she made her way down to hall and into the kitchen to prepare some breakfast for her and her remaining family members. She does that everyday because that's the least she can do for her mother. Sinu is literally working her ass off everyday just to give Camila and Sofi everything they need. A warm place to stay and enough food to eat. So the older girl does everything she can to help her mom, maybe lessen the amount of work her mom puts into her two kids on a daily basis.

Camila was almost done making pancakes when she heard small footsteps coming from down the hall. It was Sofi who was on her way to the kitchen, humming a song she probably made up herself. A small smile crept to the older girl's face, her sister's creativity and passion had always amazed her. Camila turned around when she heard the kitchen's deck boards click, knowing that her sister had now entered the room.