Chapter 16: Passion and Drive

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My passion...
I take sips of the orange juice and wrack my brain thinking of what I could possibly be passionate about until I have a headache. Frustrated, guilty, and angry at myself for not being able to do what Dylan wanted me to do, I get off the swing, let out a strangled cry, and hurl my empty glass at the wall of the shed.
It smashes into a thousand tiny shining shards and those shards rain onto the pavement. I listen to the tinkle of the glass breaking and I sink down onto the grass, whimpering.
After a few minutes, my whimpers evolve into agonized wails, and I'm breathing choppy, ragged breaths and my field of vision blurs out and darkens.
As I lay huddled on the ground, sounding like a dying animal, the grass rustles behind me and two people flank me on both sides. One wraps their arms around me, arms that are too familiar to me: they belong to Avi; the other one strokes my hair softly with small, delicate hands, whispering words of comfort: Mitch.
"Shh, baby girl, it's okay, we're here, it's okay," Mitch coos, rubbing my upper arms gently.
Avi tightens his arms around me and kisses the top of my head. "I know it's hard," he says in a hushed tone. "But remember, we're here, everything's going to be all right."
I just surrender into him and let Mitch calm me down with his words. My breathing gradually slows and smooths out. I slowly half-open my eyes.
Before I know it, the rest of Pentatonix is sitting around me, the sunlight crowning their heads, making them glow and shine like angels, and for a moment I wonder if I'm dead. But no, I feel the cool grass under me and my heart thumping. I'm alive.
They hold hands, creating a tight-knit circle with me in the centre, and start singing Run To You. I open my eyes fully, wipe away the tears, and regard them.
Scott's light features are contorted in sadness, his eyes closed lightly, eyebrows furrowed.
Kevin meets my gaze and nods slowly.
Kirstie's face is still sympathetic, and she stares down at the ground, eyes shining with tears.
Mitch rocks along with the music, singing his solo part perfectly. He gives me a weak smile when our eyes meet.
I turn to look at Avi. His green eyes are dark with sorrow, features soft, vulnerable. His voice rumbles deep within his chest, giving me chills, and all the memories of the first few weeks of us dating flow back. The green of his eyes are bolder, the color they become whenever he's serious.
I close my eyes and listen to the angelic voices that surround me, carrying me and my soul, sending the words deep into my heart.
"I'll run, I'll run, I'll ru-un to you, whoa-oa-oh..."
I surprise the group, and even myself, as I add my own pitch and sing the bridge with Mitch, Scott, and Avi. "I will break down the gates of heaven," I sing, blending in with the mens' harmonies.
Scott raises his eyebrows, the corners of Mitch's mouth turn up into a smile, and Avi closes his eyes, smiling too. Kevin and Kirstie add on their parts and the sound swells into something more than angelic—it's completely out of this world, like nothing I've ever heard before.
I finish the rest of the song with them, somehow creating an alto line, and everyone cheers.
"That was... Hauntingly beautiful," I state quietly as we all stand up, brushing grass off of ourselves.
Kevin nods in agreement. "Especially with the part you added―I loved the chord there."
"So did I," Avi adds, eyes twinkling. "I think Run To You sounds much better with an alto line."
Scott gives me a hug. "I didn't know you could do that," he says, amazed.
"I mean, we all knew how great of a singer you are―we've seen Take 5 on YouTube―but girl, that was something!" Mitch says.
My heart swells with pride. "Thanks," I say shyly, blushing.
Kirstie gasps and claps once, very loudly, and we all jump, startled. "That's it!" she says.
"Uh... What is?" I ask, puzzled.
"Your passion, what Dylan wants you to follow! It's music, Ruby, music!" Kirstie concludes happily, throwing her hands up in the air.
Avi snaps his fingers. "Of course," he remarks. "Remember, you even told me when we first met about how music's helped you and whatnot."
"Right, right! I remember Avi telling me that after he came back to the hotel after you two went out for the first time," Kevin adds, beaming widely. He winks. "That was one of the reasons why he fell in love with you—how your eyes glittered with excitement and passion when you spoke about music and when you sung with him in the car."
I look at Avi, who blushes. "That's true."
"That's your force, your drive," Mitch declares. He then takes my hands, and my eyes meet his light brown ones. "Ruby McAllister. I think that the only way to follow your heart and not to give up on your dream is if..." He pauses and glances around at the others, and they all nod kindly, grinning. "If you join Pentatonix!"
I'm shocked, my jaw drops, and it takes me a while to process that and come back to my senses. "You want me to what?"
"Officially become part of the family," Scott confirms, eyes sparkling and his smile genuine. He switches his gaze over to Avi. "Beat ya to it," he hisses teasingly, and Avi laughs, rolling his eyes.
I'm overwhelmed with so many mixed emotions. I start crying again. "Thank you guys so much," I say, hugging each of them tightly.
When I get to Avi, he kisses me instead, and says, "So?"
I look around at my best friends, each of them radiating with joy and love. They really meant it when they said they'd help me through anything and everything, and I can't thank them enough for everything they do for me—especially this.
I finally smile, really smile, for the first time in forever, and the tears that well into my eyes are not ones of mourn, but ones of joy. "I'd be honored," I reply.

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