Jax x Reader ~Enemies to Lovers~

Chapter Twenty Two: A newfound understanding.

A/N: Heyy. I finally wrote down Y/N's backstory, along with a bunch of summaries for the future adventures (so I don't forget it...since I will be mad if I do). Plus, there will, starting now, be flashbacks throughout each chapter, which each flashback will be italicized and I will try to make it obvious whenever a flashback does begin. Sorry for the month-long wait...I had bad writers block and severe procrastination, but I am finally in the mood to write again. So...I won't keep you waiting for long. Let's start the actual chapter, shall we? <33

Trying to calm myself down, I hopped onto Delfine, holding onto Jax's shoulders tightly as Del lifted herself off of the sea floor and started heading back to Callie's castle. I thought Jax would shrug off my grip, since I doubted he likes being held onto super tightly, but he didn't seem to say anything about it as I held on for dear life, trying my best to ignore the vast ocean around me and how high we were off of the ground.

I kept my eyes closed, not really daring to look at my surroundings, knowing how bad my anxiety got sometimes. I held onto Jax's shoulders tighter, trying my best to keep my breathing in-control, just so I didn't start to hyperventilate.

"Are you doing alright back there, or do we need to stop the ride? You're holding onto me pretty tightly," Jax commented, his tone sounding a little judgmental.

I shook my head. "No, I'll be fine. I just...want this to be quick." I opened my eyes briefly to look at him, just trying to gather his expression, since I swear he was probably judging me.

We locked eye contact for a moment since his head was turned towards me, probably seeing the fear and uncertainty that was etched on my face. He rolled his eyes and turned his head back to the front. There was silence between the two of us for a brief moment before Jax spoke up once more.

"Why are you afraid of the ocean, anyway? We have our scuba gear on, and we can't even die. Holding our breath doesn't kill us, and drowning is impossible. Why are you so scared? I find it silly, if you ask me," He wondered, his sly tone making its way to my ears, making me feel even more humiliated by this entire situation.

Well, I knew why I was scared. Or at least...where this fear stemmed from. It's a memory that I would rather have buried deep in my brain instead of explained, knowing how Jax could be with sentimental situations of any kind. This kind of stuff just...wasn't his thing. It's not like I could shame that, of course, but I knew he was rarely serious as it is. Sure, he has his moments of solemnity, but he's just awful at it. Plus, knowing him, he will probably try to figure out a way to make fun of me for it in the future.

"It's none of your business," I hissed as I felt my grip slowly slip from his shoulders, making me yelp a bit as I held onto him tighter.

"It's going to become my business once you have another panic episode," Jax snapped back, his voice laced with some sort of irritation. "Just tell me. Even if it's a bit. Then I will get out of your hair about it."

I have no choice, do I? If I continue deciding not to...he will just continue asking. Jax has no boundaries, from what I can tell, and I knew he wouldn't give up unless I confided in him, even if it was for a little bit.

So, I started to explain. At least...to the best of my ability, without breaking down in tears over the guilt that was weighing on my chest.

***

I was at the local beach, playing in the ocean with one of my best friends, F/N. We've been with each other since grade school and they've always been my ride-or-die. I told them everything, and they didn't mind telling me everything, either. It's that kind of friendship that is hard to lose once it was properly gained.