Jax x Reader ~Enemies to Lovers~

Chapter Twenty Three: I hate nightmares.

A/N: Just an FYI before this chapter begins, whatever is italicized AND in bold along with the "***" in the beginning is a nightmare sequence. As the title suggests, Y/N will have a nightmare and whatnot. It's italicized and bolded so you know what part is a nightmare, what part is flashback (when it is ONLY italicized, unless it's a journal entry), and when it is the present (aka no font changes at all). Just wanted to do a quick author's note, just to avoid confusion. However, this formula can change for certain chapters and if that's the case, there will always be an author's note in the beginning to let you know otherwise. (Sorry if this was worded confusing, it will make sense once the actual chapter starts!) Without further ado, let's begin with the chapter! <33

Day Five.
How do I put into words how much I hated today? First, Caine thought it would be SO wise to give us some sort of water-themed adventure, even though I feel like water (especially vast open seas) is one of the most common fears in most people, besides heights and the dark. I tried staying calm through it all, trust me, I tried--but to no avail. God, and what made it even worse was Jax noticing that I was NOT having any of it. In the beginning, the continuous questions he asked me got on my nerves--but I tried ignoring it. It kinda wasn't worth my time.

This adventure was about finding this pink pearl for a mermaid named Callie. I didn't like Callie throughout the entire adventure, NOR being underwater. I hated how it reminded me of F/N, a person I try to forget about nowadays, as cruel as it sounds. It gives me too much guilt thinking about this person, so I try pushing them back to my subconscious to worry about later.

Yet, within this adventure, F/N kept on creeping around in my head and it made me feel miserable. My panic attacks have been getting worse, too, and I wonder if it's just a side effect of being trapped in this digital hell, or if I am slowly losing it. It could be both, though. I wouldn't be surprised. I swear, back in the real world, I never got these constant panic episodes. Sure, flashbacks every now and then were consistent, but never full-out panic attacks unless I didn't get enough sleep that night or whatever.

I don't know, maybe it shouldn't concern me and everything will be fine. While on the hellhole adventure, I was stuck with Jax trying to search for the pearl. I would say that I hated it, but I actually didn't hate Jax's company that much...surprisingly. What I did hate, though, was the whole search for the pink pearl in the first place. We had to get on a dragon's back and have the dragon FLY underwater (or would it be SWIM underwater? I don't really know.) Jax could tell something was wrong in the beginning, I forgot why, though. Everything feels like one big blur.

All I remember though, before finding the pearl (thanks to me) was passing out and then Jax just...snapped. It was a one-time thing but it's something I kept in mind, since it was also the first time I heard him swear. Like, ever. For how much of a pain in the a## Jax is, he has such a clean mouth that it surprises me. You would think he would use the f-word like a comma, just like how Zooble is sometimes, but he doesn't.

Maybe he is just more stoic than I am. Hell, I have never seen him freak out ONCE besides that one-time thing where he snapped at me. Yet, within every adventure, I have been freaking out and acting like a coward. How is he not annoyed by my presence by now? I would be. I mean, I already am, but that's besides the point.

What else happened today...? Oh! Right. I told him about F/N after finding the pearl. He seemed a bit disturbed, but it looks like he regained composure from his original snappy attitude when I passed out. Or at least...I think he did, since he didn't seem as on-edge and was making sarcastic comments, like usual. I swear he either has mood swings, or just lost composure one time but decided to not mention it.