Like A Bird

The Beginning

The beginning. It's where all things are supposed to start. It starts with 'beg' which seemed to fit my situation very well. I was begging for someone to show me a way to see myself.

Like I said, the part of our story I want to tell you starts in a shower. If I hadn't had a shower that day, or if anyone else had been walking in the street underneath my open bathroom window I don't know where I'd be.

But first I think we should set the scene.

I was an English girl of 18, living in Amsterdam in an apartment by the river. My mother was dead but my father was rich, he had worked hard his whole life and had managed to get me this flat. However I wasn't hard working. I had gone from one disappointment to the next, from not doing amazing at school to dropping out of college to move to Amsterdam, the city of stars. He had always been there for me but I could tell I was hardly what you call a 'dream daughter'.

I had a job typing up the stories for the papers, copying the journalists scruffy writing into neat ink print. In Dutch, which I did not speak. I didn't enjoy it and constantly wanted to quit but I needed money for food and rent and water. So on I typed.

The day that I'm describing now was a Sunday, and I had gone into my small beige bathroom and opened the window so the steam didn't clog up my whole house. I took off my pyjamas and got in the shower.

Everybody sings in the shower, so when my favourite song of all time came on as the radio played I instantly sang along, loudly seeing as no one could hear me. Or so I thought anyway.

'if we take this bird in
with its broken leg
we can nurse it
she said
come inside for a little lie down with me
and if you fall asleep
well it wouldn't be the worst thing'

This song gave me shivers.

When it finished I stopped singing and switched off the shower, getting dressed into some black leggings, a black vest and a thick woolly cardigan. Perfect Autumn clothes.

I blow dried my hair and when it was ready I sat on my sofa and watched the river, and the people walking. The river was so beautiful, most people think city rivers are just flowing sewers but I see so much more than that.

My dad used to tell me I could always see the beauty in everything, which is something that should be exercised with caution. People that seem beautiful tend to have a darker side to them.

I just wish I could see myself as clearly as I see the river.

Martijn's POV

Why would anybody want to be famous?

When Animals first dropped I lived for every second in the limelight. Just 17 and already making history, making my mark. But now two years down the line I couldn't think of anything worse.

I loved the fans don't get me wrong, and I have good memories but people keep pushing me for more music and more tours and right now I'm in a place where I just need to sit down and breathe.

But everyone else wants me to go go go.

Returning to Amsterdam has helped a lot, staying in my apartment and being able to just think, but I need more. I need a relief.

Sunday rolled around like a lazy giant and I had planned on staying in bed all day but my short attention span had got me bored by 12. So I got dressed in a black t-shirt and some skinny jeans, pulled on my nikes and went for a walk along the river.

There's one house that I like to walk past, sometimes you can hear the girl inside singing. I'm guessing she didn't know you could hear her and I've never seen her before but when she showers she leaves the window open and you can hear her voice.

She always sang the same song, and I had never heard it before but after looking up the lyrics I found out it was Little Bird by Ed Sheeren. I always hear her voice in my mind when it plays.

She was singing today, her voice made me lost for all of 3 minutes but in the best possible way, like I was floating away from all the bullshit life was throwing at me. It always ended too soon.

So I didn't look like a creep I walked around the block where she lived and headed for the bridge over the river. Lighting a cigarette I blew the smoke from my lungs, not caring about the damage done and looked down into the water.

How peaceful it must be to just float down into the water and lay there among the fishes. How much I would love to just end the stress this way. For a brief moment I'm almost doing it, but I can't. I can't end things like this. I want to go down with a bang not a splash.

I feel like people are watching me, I think I've been recognised. Not really being in the mood for interaction I quickly walked back home, locking the door and collapsing on the sofa. As I'm just relaxing my phone rings.

"For fucks sake," I sigh and see its my manager.

He's demanding more tracks for the album. I try to tell him my inspiration is running low but he won't listen. Why would he listen to me, I'm only the one making the music and earning the money.

He abruptly ends the call, leaving me back in the place where I'm just letting everybody down again.

And this time the girls voice isn't here to lose me again.

AUTHORS NOTE

so this is chapter one, I hope it gives you some sort of insight into the characters.

I can't think of anything else to say but here's a potato.

*potato*

Adios munchkins