The Middle | Hemmings + Styles AU

28. broken a lot of hearts

It took an entire thirty minutes for my heart to return to it's regular pace. Okay, thirty minutes and half a vodka soda which Olivia already had poured for me when I arrived to her house. Don't judge me.

Now that my heart wasn't beating through my ear drums, I couldn't understand why I reacted the way I did. "I don't even know why I freaked out."

"It's normal," Olivia assured me, which wasn't that comforting to be honest. Olivia's idea of what constituted as normal was very different to mine.

"I like Luke," I said, not really to her but to myself.

"But?"

But he's about to go on tour anyway.

But we're still getting to know each other.

But the idea of a relationship scares me, for some reason, and maybe I didn't know this until now.

But everything.

"I guess there's a few buts."

I tried to think of this from a rational perspective but I couldn't pin point what it was that scared me so much. Luke, the boy I liked, had stood right there in front of me and confessed that he liked me to and that he wanted to date me.

Wasn't that what all girls wanted?

And instead of rushing into his arms and kissing him and confessing my own feelings, I ran away from him. Literally, ran away. "I'm such a mess," I mumbled.

"That doesn't have to be a bad thing. Sometimes the best things are created from mess."

I looked up my her then. Olivia surprised me a little bit. I expected her to say something frivolous, but that actually made sense. "I have to go back over there and explain."

I was standing up and draining the rest of the vodka soda when Olivia said, "Sit back down and stop acting bipolar. You're not going anywhere yet. You need to figure out your feelings before you talk to him again."

She was right. Again. "It's really worrying that you're making so much sense right now."

Olivia smiled softly, the corner of her mouth barely turning up, and then her shoulders shrugged, "I've broken a lot of hearts."

"Like Oliver's?" I asked gently. She could deny it all she wanted, and sleep with Calum or anyone else she liked, but I knew she cared about him.

The same soft smiled crossed her lips again. It was a sad smile, really. The one we all have in us when we're feeling nostalgic or bitterly sentimental. I stood up again, this time with no intention of going back to Luke's house. I was going home. "I guess we both have stuff to figure out."

The moment I saw the flashing blue and red lights behind my car, I knew I was screwed. Sighing, I pulled over and waited for the policeman to walk over to driver's side window.

"Are you aware you were going ten kilometres over the speed limit miss?"

I looked at the policeman. He was so short he barely had to duck down to make eye contact with me.

"Yes," I answered, being as cooperative as I could because if he made me do a breathalyser, I'd be over the zero alcohol limit that's required for someone my age and I didn't want to have to explain that to my parents.

"Can I see your license and registration please?"

From my purse, I took my license and then reached over to get the registration papers from the glovebox. As I handed it over to him, I was careful not to breathe too much towards him. He disappeared back to his car for a moment and when he returned, he handed back my things.

"This is your first recorded speeding offence," he stated, like this wasn't a known fact to me. Of course it was my first. My parents had made me attend every 'safe driving' seminar this town offered when I first got my license.

"I know, I'm really sorry. I'm usually such a cautious driver, I just... I've just," My heart began beating faster again and I couldn't even get my words out properly.

"You've had a bad day," he finished off for me. Was it really that obvious?

"Yeah."

"I'm still going to have to give you a ticket. Given that this is your first offence and it was low range speeding, you won't lose your license but you will receive a hefty fine."

"I know," I said softly, half-smiling at the word hefty. It sounded like a word Harry would use.

He nodded, somewhat sympathetically which was both confusing and nice. He went back to the police car again and came back with a written ticket. "You'll also receive a copy in the mail in about seven days."

"Thanks."

My hands fumbled with the keys, turning the ignition back on. I was shaking, desperate to get out of here before he noticed I'd been drinking. "Drive safely. I've had to tell too many parents that their kids have wrapped their car around a tree."

I was still nodding as he walked back to his car, trying my best not to cry. Even if I did wrap my car around a tree, my parents were on the other side of the world. And now Luke was going away on tour, and Grunge was going with them, obviously.

Suddenly, I just felt really alone.

At the next traffic light, instead of turning left to head home, I went straight through to Aunty Peg's street. I parked in her driveway, shoved the speeding fine into my purse and tried to open her front door. It was locked.

"Aunty Peg?" I knocked three times, and then checked the time on my phone. I'd turned to walk back to my car when I heard the door open.

"You made all that racket knocking and then you were going to leave?" she croaked. When I got a better look at her, I could see her hair sticking up in all different directions.

"Were you sleeping?" I frowned. It was only four o'clock in the afternoon.

"Just having a little kip." She opened the door and I walked inside, breathing in. I can't explain the scent but Aunty Peg's house always had a distinct smell. It was homely, and comforting and exactly what I needed today.

But something was different today.

Her house smelled different.

"Are you hungry?" she asked, at the same time I said, "Is something burning?"

The colour drained from her face as she raced into the kitchen. Black smoke was emitting from the oven, and as I switched it off, the smoke detectors started shrieking.

My aunt yelled over the loud beeping. "I must have fallen asleep on the lounge while I was waiting for the cupcakes to cook." She opened up all of the windows while I pulled a chair over to the smoke alarm, standing up and hitting the button to silence it.

From the oven, I removed a tray of black mess that was apparently once cupcakes. They were so badly burnt, the crumbs had disintegrated into black dust. I couldn't even tell if they'd been chocolate or vanilla.

"Good thing I prefer pizza over cupcakes," I laughed.