The Middle | Hemmings + Styles AU

43. a birthday wish

A few days before my 19th birthday, I got the best early birthday present I could have hoped for: a phone call from the realtor. That place was ours.

I called Grunge first, then Aunty Peg. I tried to call Olivia, who like almost everyone else, had no idea what had been going on. Even my parents didn't know. I was saving it until they got home. Kind of a welcome home present, I guess.

I wanted to tell Luke, though a small part of me was still unnerved by what he could be hiding from me. And then there was Harry. We hadn't spoken at all, and despite our past, we didn't seem to have that relationship where I felt like it was okay to just ring him up and share this news with him.

In the end, the third person I told was the unlikeliest choice of all: Louis.

He looked a little vague, standing behind the store counter as I explained it all. I realised as I was speaking that I needed to be less clumsy with my words. Snappier, straight to the point. An elevator pitch length explanation of all that the new business encompassed.

At the very end, Louis smiled so that the corners of his eyes crinkled. I don't think I'd ever seen him smile like that. "Sounds sick," he said, his accent twisting the words. "So, what's going to happen to this place?"

I smiled, trying to smooth out the suddenly unnerved expression on his face. "Nothing. You'll keep doing what you've been doing lately, and Grunge will still be here. I think we might have to hire a junior or something to help out on weekends or afternoons. We're working on a system to cross-promote the two businesses, so things could be picking up around here soon."

Things already had picked up when I considered how dead they'd been a year ago. The band posters, the social media strategy and the loyalty program really had made a difference. I liked to think that my flier hand outs at all of those Friday and Saturday night gigs had helped too, but the reality was most of those fliers probably ended up being used as drink coasters at the bar, or left forgotten on the floor, trampled amongst the crowds of moshing fans.

"Well, your absence will be a huge loss to this place," Louis said.

I tilted my head, staring at him. I wouldn't have expected my leaving to impact Louis that much. I was feeling pretty flattered when he started speaking again. "I mean, half of the guys come in here just to check you out. They'll probably all start getting their music from iTunes now."

He burst into laughter and I swatted him arm. "Watch it," I joked. "I could still have you fired, you know."

"So, what's next then?"

I exhaled, thinking about the next piece of the puzzle. I really wanted to paint the beams in the ceiling. And get the concrete polished. We had to apply for our liquor license and get an alarm system put in. For the first time, it really hit me how much work was ahead. Maybe Louis's question should have been what wasn't next.

"A do-to list," I eventually answered with. "That's what's next."

Louis attended to a customer while I started working on a list. I wanted to do as much of the renovations as I could myself, just to save our start up costs. I bet I could rope Luke and maybe Ashton or Michael into helping me with the painting. Maybe I could even promise them some studio time as payment, once we were all set up. That reminded me...

- Business Name, I added to the very top of the list of things to do. I couldn't get the neon sign or business cards or social media accounts or anything sorted until we had a business name.

Maybe a name was just a name. But it was also like the cover of a book. Everyone knew you weren't supposed to judge a book by it's cover, or a place by it's name but it was human nature to do so.

I added a few more things to the list: liquor license, painting, floors, insurance, new shelves for CDs and merch. The more I added, the more that I thought of until I was left staring with a huge list that made me feel like I was falling down a deep hole.

Maybe I should have felt overwhelmed, but I knew as I ticked each thing off, one by one, I'd be stepping up one rung at a time, until I'd climbed the ladder out of the hole and up to the place where dreams are made.

-

"How can you have a business and not have a business name?"

I didn't waste any time once we signed the lease. A few days later, I texted Michael and Luke the address and told them to meet me there at 6pm. We were sitting on the floor, eating pizza, the boys listening rather eagerly as I explained the entire business to them.

"Trust me, I've lost a lot of sleep over it this week. I've had plenty of ideas, just nothing that really sticks, you know?" I glanced at the time on my phone. It was 6:35 now and we still hadn't picked up a paint brush. We had a lot of work ahead. "You guys finish the pizza. I'm going to start taping the edges of the ceiling and getting the paint ready."

Michael and Luke side-eyed each other. "Yeah, okay. We'll be up when we finish this pizza."

The upstairs still seemed to knock the breathe out of me. I was obsessed with it. If I could, I'd have had it replicated and installed into my living room because it was the kind of space I wanted to spend all of my time in.

On the empty stage, I'd already set up some speakers to plug my iPhone into. It wasn't live music, but it beat painting in silence. I pressed play on the playlist and The National started playing.

We had a lot more painting to do than I originally thought. Skirting boards, bare patches of plaster on the walls that weren't brick, and then the whole ceiling. I started taping the edges of the brickwork so they'd be safe from black paint dripping down from the beams above them.

Just as I was running out of tape, the music - a David Bowie song now - cut out. I turned around, annoyed that my battery had already gone dead, only to be faced with Michael and Luke, holding a plate of chocolate donuts with candles poked into them. It took me a moment to count them all: eighteen.

"I accidentally stepped on the other one and it broke," Michael said.

"Happy Birthday, Stella," smiled Luke, his face lit up by the candle flames.

"You remembered," I said softly, the smile taking over my face.

"We're not going to sing you happy birthday though," Michael added through a slight laugh. "Our private performances are pretty expensive these days."

Luke nudged Michael as he stepped closer to me. "I think you should probably blow out the candles before anymore of the wax drips on the donuts."

As I moved a little closer, I heard Michael mutter, "I'll still eat them." I filled my lungs with air, carefully thinking over my wish options. Maybe it was silly to make a wish on your nineteenth birthday but that didn't stop me.

I let out all of the air in my lungs, blowing my wish across the candles. All eighteen of them.