Love's Requiem (ENG)

Chapter 4 : Zerospace

I move a mountain with my hand
And I'm floating high
But I'm always down
(Zerospace)

***

The singer was about to go back to her dressing room, so Ville almost ran towards her. 

The hand on her shoulder startled her. Kim returned a very surprised look to the young man behind her. 

These big, shocked blue eyes confused him. Ville had nothing to tell Kim anyway, but he was definitely lost for words.

- Ville, is that it ?

She suddenly remembered. She had stolen Highnesses first album from one the artistic directors at their label and had really enjoyed it, especially since it prevented her from hearing anything this random record company guy had to tell her that particular day.

-  Hey, at least you know my name. He had wanted to save her from her initial embarrassment, but ended up sounding even more awkward. 

- Well, I'm glad you're here, I think you know the place, I have to be on stage pretty soon. She concluded in a haste, eager to finish this terrible conversation. 

***

The first notes echoed in the room, and Ville was already captivated. The first song was Zerospace, one of Kim's many personal songs, the lyrics describing herself with a deep, vibrant truth. How she looked like such a strong woman, ruling her band and her career, hiding her many weaknesses behind the persona her fans loved.

The audience was delighted, she seemed to give them everything : her grace, her strength, her voice, some suggestive poses... But only seemed to.

Only someone sharing the same passion and life on stage could see what was really happening. Ville knew too well what was in her mind at that moment. She was not living her music, not feeling her lyrics to her core. In spite of Kim's great performance, he had noticed a certain restrain, the one they all displayed when their mind was busy with burdens. She had given everything to her audience. Everything except her soul. 

Ville thought that a musician left a piece of his soul during every concert, and they create the bond, the magic uniting people in the crowd when they all sing along.

Kim was a very good actress, but Ville now wished he could meet the woman, as he had not had the chance to see the musician on stage that night.

***

As soon as she left the stage, Kim headed to her hotel. Other members of the band and the fans were pleased, with such an opening, the rest of the european tour looked promising.

But Kim did not feel like partying. She took a few pictures and signed some autographs for the few fans waiting by her car. Signing, smiling, signing and smiling again. She smiled so much she would probably end up stuck like this, she thought. 

The young american was so relieved to finally make it to her hotel, and even more so when nobody noticed her when she crossed the hall. She did not even bother to switch on the lights. Kim sat on her bed and lit a cigaret. She was not a heavy smoker and it was forbidden in the rooms, neither of which she cared about. 

Kim desperately tried to focus on the view to keep her mind from wandering on some unpleasant thoughts. The sea, the docks... Just like home. But here the sea was dark and cold, lost in the night. As if it was reflecting her mood. 

She crushed the remaining half of the cigaret in the nearby ashtray. If this city was imitating her grumpy temper, she might has well get out and explore it.

***

A few cars swept the asphalt of the harbour roads and disappeared in the night. A few tourists mingled with the locals on their way home. Ville was just wandering aimlessly, enjoying his last cigaret before calling it a day. Then he noticed her, this silouhette he had seen earlier, now alone, staring at the sea.

- Kim, he said in a steady voice.

She was startled again. This seemed to become an habit of his, he thought.

- At least you know my name, she tried to conceal her annoyance.

- Sorry, I didn't mean to bother you.

- Oh it's okay. She needed something to distract her mind anyway. Did you enjoy the show ?

- Well, it looked great but... something was... off. You seemed distant, something wrong ?
He had spoken way too fast, his thoughts had escaped. He did not mean to ask such a question, and she offered such a long, cold silence that he felt as much embarrassment as regret.

Damn it, she told herself. This will all be in the press in a few days anyway, she might as well get this out.

- Too much work, too much distance.  He decided it was over. Simple as that. It's always as simple as that...Dan is a studio guitarist, working in London, and...

She paused, taking some time to weight her words. Saying this out loud made it all much more real, she only began to realize she had just been operating on auto-pilot these past 48 hours. So she did not have to confront her feelings. Her muscles began to hurt, her body began to shiver from the cold. 

- I'm sorry. It was all Ville could manage. Seeing her shudder, he passed his vest over her shoulder.

Ville offered to walk her back to her hotel, which she accepted, feeling slightly relieved from her sudden onset of loneliness. 

She watched him disappear behind the elevator doors. But she still had his jacket on. She smashed the button and reopened the doors.