Love's Requiem (ENG)

Chapter 14 : Please don't let it go

"Death sings our song

And we eagerly sing along"

HIM - Please don't let it go

Nobody would talk to him, it was clear now. No need to go back to any of them. Maybe he would have more luck with the staff. Ville walked back to the reception.

 - How is she ?

- Sir... What are you talking about ? asked the nurse behind her window.

- Kim... How is she ?

- Sorry, we cannot give you information about patients....

He just needed to know one thing. How she was. It wasn't so hard to tell him. No details, nothing more. Why was everyone against him ?

- Wh.. What ? he asked.

Ville could not understand a word anymore. He could not hear any of the voices. No sound. Just an awful ringing in his ears. Both his arms slammed the counter and he grabbed the edge. But the rest of his body would not follow. He could not stand up.

 - Just tell me... please... Kim... Is she... Please... Please... Please

The nurse ran across her office, helping carry him away from the rest of the waiting visitors. Their voices made no words. Their touch had no comfort. A hand rested on his chest to remind Ville to breathe. He could not.

Then someone hovered over him, high above while he was on the cold floor. As the shadow block the neon lights, he came back to his sense for a while, enough to make out who it was.
Jim looked down on Ville. And he simply turned back.

- Calm him down. Then throw him out. He is none of our concern.

***

Further down the corridor, apart from the group, a nurse was talking into Jim's ear. He tilted his head a bit to his right, so he could hear the smaller woman better and still keep a look on the worried faces of his friends. Jim straightened up when the nurse was done. He simply nodded in their direction and disappeared through the door in front of him.

He frowned while entering the small room. The sun painted the white walls and furniture with its yellow glow. The air and the light were warm. No sound but a slow breath and the soft ruffle of sheets. Kim opened then closed her eyes. Enough to recognize Jim. She clutched his hands when he kneeled next to her bed. Her other hand went to her womb.

The scar under her fingertips, like a new demarcation line. Before and after. A beginning and an end. She understood. Jim did not have to say it out loud.

- I'm so sorry, he whispered.

An arm wrapped around her shoulder, her brother rested his forehead against hers.

Kim's mind was a quiet, a frozen calm. No fuss. No panic. No pain. Just a heavy feeling of loss. Physically heavy. Like a lead blanket over her body and thoughts. She removed Jim's arm and the bed sheets around her, looking for fresh air, wanting to breathe.

***

Nobody else came to visit. They were not authorized yet, she needed to rest, said the nurse as she turned on a bedside lamp and switch off the ceiling lights.

Kim had not noticed. She did not care who visited or which lamps would stay on for the night. Her eyes were fixed to the IV tube linked to her arm, rolling between her fingers. Back and forth. The door closed on the silence of her hospital room. That tube still rolled back and forth between her fingers. Back, forth. She was lulled by that for a while, then the door reopened behind her.

Funny how her dark hair rolled in big, loose curls in her back. They were so dark against the white pillow, he could see so many details. Ville had never noticed that. He took time to detail how they fell on her shoulder. How much longer they were since he last saw her. He could not remember. And the last time they spoke... This unpleasant memory buried itself in his mind with a nervous fit, pushing him to move on, take a few steps forward. Ville ended up on the other side of the bed. Facing her. He was not aiming for that.

Kim's eyes left her IV tube. She froze. Her breath too. Maybe even her heart. The shock, the pain, the medication, the sadness... It was none of that. Her mind was really lost. Ville could not speak nor move either. He was just confused. Was she there ? Conscious ? Actually he did not know what her injuries were... His hands were numb as he did not dare to touch her. But he wanted to. Wake her up. Make her move. But they refused to move. So Ville just fixed Kim. Her blue irises. She was there. She recognized him. Kim found the strength to place a cold hand of his fingers. Their eyes were translating the uselessness of words.