Love's Requiem (ENG)

Chapter 10 : Mustard Seed

Faith was cursed upon me;
A mustard seed
Was good enough for him
And good enough to me
(Kidneythieves - Mustard Seed)

Then came the time to go back on tour. After the releasing party, rumors about Ville and Kim spread like wildfire. But they took great care of not addressing any, so leaving to beat the European road left everyone in the band more wary and tense. They knew the press and fans would not leave them alone until they knew the final word about the lead singer's love life.

- I hear it's harder for the one who stays, she ventured.

- I don't know, I've never been the one to stay. He held her closer. Think about what we'll do when I'll be back.

- I don't want to think about anything, Kim whispered while hiding her face in Ville's hair.

- You know what I mean...

- Oh shut up !

She laughed as she let go of him. He was happy to have lightened up the heavy mood a little bit. Kim then climbed into her taxi to the airport, waving at Ville watching her go from his window.

***

The singer had just landed in L.A that she was back in her drummer's home studio. Kim wanted to work on the scraps of the song "Feather", which she had started writing in Helsinki.

They were sitting behind a small console and computer, in the dim control room of John's studio. Kim was focused on the few chords she had recorded with one of Ville's guitar. Her face was like a mask under the pale light, the shadow of her long eyelashes laid on her cheeks. Only her mouth moved, mumbling the melody.

- I think we should build something very slow, gradual... Start with just your voice and some electronic drums behind it; cause the singing melody is great... John thought out loud. I'll try something... Pass me the pad behind you.

Kim got up to get the launch pad console. She lifted her body from her chair but both her arms clung to the back of John's. She fell back heavily. Her head was spinning, her sight blurry. He turned to face her.

- Wow... Someone's still tired and jetlag. You should take some rest.

Kim was obviously pale.

- You're right, probably just jetlag. She held her head between her hands, trying to make the spinning stop. Can we... do this later ?

She was not so sure it was just jetlag anymore. This had already happened in the past few days. Kim just wanted to go home and steer clear of her doubts. John nodded and she was gone as fast as she could.

***

- Kim, you know I just can't... With my career... and yours.... And... No. Just No. I don't wanna hear about it. You take care of it.

She still could not believe it. Even two weeks after, she could not comprehend it. These last words they exchanged over the phone lingered in her mind. Almost haunted her. She was hearing them all the time. Kim was angry. Then she was lost. Then angry again. Then at peace, because maybe he was right. Why be mad at Ville ? Everything he told her was true. His career had just started taking off. Hers was already successful, with great expectations for her second album. But still... She wanted this. Or did she ? Or was she just stubborn, wanting to go against his opinion ?

Kim just did not know what to do. She did not know what she wanted to do. So she took up her phone, again.

- Jim...

- Kim...

Always such sober greetings, even if they had not spoken in a while.

- I need to talk to you.... And doing it over the phone sucks but... I had to do it with the main protagonist so...

- Cut the crap Kim, please.

She knew he would be so direct; she hated that but tried to keep the same composure he had – quick and frank.

- I'm pregnant... It's Ville's... and...

She lost it. She lost her composure.

- Aaaand it's not going well ? Alright, I'll try to be with you as soon as I can.

Kim simply nodded, like Jim could hear it over the phone. This was just what she needed.