Pas De Deux

nine.

The next day was the hardest. Despite promising Tommy I wouldn't go back to the dance studio and that I would quit, I simply couldn't stay away.

It was my second home, dancing was in my blood and I wouldn't forget that, not matter what Tommy told me.

I still couldn't believe he had told me to quit dancing. I had gone to the gig to support him, so why wasn't he going to support me? It seemed all he wanted me to do was focus on him. It didn't matter what I wanted as long as he was happy. That isn't how relationships should be, even I knew that.

Nevertheless, this didn't stop me from feeling sick with guilt as I opened the door. I knew that everyone would hate me for missing rehearsals yesterday. I just dreaded to think how angry.

I held my breath as I stepped inside. I prayed that Steph wouldn't see me enter otherwise I might as well just die now. She was going to kill me anyway. I scanned the room and was surprised to see Annie was not in sight. Now she hadn't turned up to dance?

I surveyed the room again and this time I saw something that made my heart sink. Sam. He was dancing with someone else. But this couldn't be. I was his dance partner. Why the hell was he dancing with someone else?

All of the air in the room seemed to get thicker and thicker and I struggled to breath.

Slowly, I shuffled towards where Sam was practicing. I hugged my body gently, feeling overly vulnerable. This wasn't happening. I saw a few people give me disapproving looks but I was just focused on Sam.

"W-what are y-you doing?" I stuttered feebly once I had reached Sam and the mysterious new girl. He stopped dead in his tracks and gave me a wide-eyed stare before regaining control.

"It's called Pas De Deux, it's French and it means-"

"N-no... I mean why are you d-dancing with someone else?" I hissed, giving the new blonde girl a sideward glance. She looked positively annoyed, stood with her hands on her hips. I desperately wondered who she was, but frankly I didn't care.

"Because you weren't here" He replied simply, a mixture of anger and disappointment in his tone. I gulped back the guilt.

"Y-yeah but... it was only one rehearsal..."

"Annie told me you had quit...and so we had to change the whole routine and this is what we're doing,"

"Q-Quit?" I breathed in disbelief. How could Annie have known that I was planning on quitting? I was never serious about it. I just told Tommy that to shut him up. Tommy.

Something snapped inside my mind as I replayed his exact words in my head.

"Hey, has anyone seen my phone?"

"Oh yeah, I've got it... It was... err... on the ground."

That was it. I knew he had never found it on the floor. He must have taken it and texted Annie, saying that I was quitting dance. I was gobsmacked. Tommy was turning out to be a completely different person that I had first thought.

"I haven't q-quit!" I exclaimed, raking my hand through my hair. My whole world was crumbling around me. My dreams becoming a distant memory. How could Tommy do this to me?

"Sorry Pops... it's too late now, we've changed the routine" Sam shrugged, causing me a faint smile.

"N-no! I'm y-your partner! W-what about our routine?"

"What about it?"

"W-we practiced s-so hard" I choked, tears forming in the corners of my eyes.

Emotion bubbled in the back of my throat. Sam didn't seem to care about the fact we weren't partners anymore. It was as though I had meant nothing to him.

"Yeah I know..." Sam said, staring directly at me. I could tell he was hurt. He thought I had just dropped him, when in reality I hadn't. Or had I? Everything was so messed up.

"L-Look... I-I'm sorry!" I pleaded, ignoring the expression of the blonde girl who was looking me up and down as if I was pathetic. I couldn't if I threw away all of my dignity, I needed Sam to understand.

"I-I'm sorry I missed rehearsals, b-but I have not quit! D-dancing is my passion, m-my life! You know t-that!" I sobbed when I couldn't hold the tears back anymore. They trickled down my pale cheeks and I tried to wipe them away.

"Pops..."

"No! No! T-This isn't f-fair!" I cried, covering my hands with my face before quickly making my way out of the dance studio.

I couldn't handle it anymore, I was starting to make a scene. I heard a few people whisper and gasp as I rushed past them, but they were the least of my worries.

As I stepped outside, I tried to regain some composure and took deep intakes of breaths. I then lowered myself down on the stone step located right outside and curled into a ball.

Sam had replaced me. I had been kicked out of the thing I had worked so hard towards. And what hurt the most was that it was all my fault.

I had stupidly listened to Tommy and trusted him, when all along he was controlling me, forcing me to give up my dreams just to be with him. It was all so wrong.

I cried weakly into my legs that were scrunched up against my chest. I felt so helpless. What was I going to do without dance? It was the only thing that gave me a glint of hope for the future. I wasn't good at anything else.

Just then, as I continued to weep pathetically, I heard the studio door open. Hesitantly, I glanced up to none other than Sam stood there. He offered me a crooked smile and sighed.

I felt him lower himself down next to me and lean into me slightly. I swallowed hard to stop myself from crying. Even though I had completely messed things up for him, he was still here to comfort me. He had always been there really.

"I'm guessing you never really quit..." He said, breaking the silence. I shook my head and wiped my nose on my sleeve,

"N-no..."

"Then why would Annie say that?"

"I-I think... Tommy took my p-phone and texted her..." I explained quietly, breathing deeply so that I wouldn't burst into tears again. Sam was taken aback by this and his face contorted into confusion.

"What the hell? Why would he do that?"

"Because he's... he's an arsehole" I admitted, letting out a short deflated laugh. Sam chuckled also and then wrapped a large arm around me.

"You're gonna break up with him then?" Sam asked, a sense of hopefulness in his voice. I thought for a second.

Part of me didn't want to because of all the good times we had had together. However a bigger part of me knew that I had to.

"Yeah..."

"It's for the best Pops... don't let other people stop you from following your dreams..."

His advice hit me like a brick. I knew that he was completely right. Of course he was. I should never have even considered giving up dancing for Tommy. If he wasn't happy with me doing what I love, then I didn't want to be with him anyway.

"You're right..." I sighed, leaning into him a little further, "I won't be defined by him anymore, I won't let him control me or tell me what to do... I'm a dancer and that's what I will always be."

A grin grew on Sam's face as he pulled me into a tight hug, "That's the spirit Pops."

I couldn't help but let a large grin spread across my own face. I could finally see the light at the end of the tunnel I didn't know I was in. Tommy was the darkness and Sam, well Sam was the light.