• friends(?) and thinking •

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• chapter four •

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I laid lifelessly in my bed, fluffy pillows surrounding me. My sheets and covers tangled around my underdressed body.

I was thinking. Thinking of Jared.

I still felt that sting in my chest but it was dull sting--but I could still feel it.

I have never, ever, in my life been called out by my race in such a vicious way.

"What do you think this is? A joke? Well it's not, you little white bitch. Leave me the hell alone!"

His deep voice echoed throughout my head, instantly giving me an aching headache coursing through my head.

I sighed and raked a hand through my tangled bed head. I bet that was what he felt but 10 times worse?

I swallowed thickly and it made my stomach jump to my throat when I started to think in a new perspective.

What if I was Jared? What if I was the one that was being made fun of? What if people called me out by my own race? What if they called me by a terrible name describing my race?

I would feel--sad and angry. Irritated with everyone, probably. I wouldn't want anyone saying that to me.

My alarm blared besides me and my brain immediately lit up.

I slammed my hand over my alarm clock and got up, a plan racing in my mind as I got ready for school.

~*~

I anxiously searched the bustling courtyard for Jared.

The sun was finally out, the dark clouds allowing the bright sun to peek out. It shone brightly over the thick stacks of snow and it was melting it slowly. I was glad for the sun--it made the day better.

I finally found Jared sitting on the school bench, snow wiped clean off.

I clambered over, shuffling nervously in front of him.

He heard me and his head jerked up. Jared wore a blue cloth sweater with the hood thrown and jeans with a pair of white Nike Air Max.

"Hi," I awkwardly started, adjusting my hat. I opened my mouth to begin but he instantly cut me off, an annoying smirk on his lips.

"Oh? So you're stalking me, now" his mood confused me. Jared was angry yesterday and now he's getting cocky?

My cheeks heat up and I frantically shook my head. "What? No!" I replied, chewing on my bottom lip. Before he could squeeze in another remark, I shut him up by speaking. "I came to talk to you to be your friend" I explained.

Jared's face was coated with a blank expression. "So you're just trying to he friends with the nigger?" he suddenly spat, a scowl on his thick lips.

My eyes widened and my chest ached when he said that word. "No! I genuinely want to be your friend!" I exclaimed, frowning.

"Who set you up for this? You're little white girl bitch--June?" he spit, the scowl turning into a sneer quickly.

I swallowed thickly and my eyes started to well up with tears. I opened my mouth to speak but the bell rang and Jared stood up, towering over me.

"Nice try, white girl. But I ain't trying to be friends with some girl that was set up" he sneered before stalking off into the school.

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