Adopted by Rollins.

Tragic

Nick got out of jail a week and a half later. Maria picked him up and arranged for him to be dropped off at the precinct where we could talk, and to pick up his impounded car.

We had a non-violent talk that was very emotional and he left. Only 15 minutes later, I got a call that he has been in an accident. I got to the scene with Fin and Carisi. Nicks car was flipped over and he was stuck. When they pulled him out he wasnt breathing at all. They took him into the ambulance and sped off. We followed.

We were in the waiting room at Bellevue and two nurses and a doctor came out with looks of regret.

"With our deepest condolences, Miss Rollins-"

I cut them off.

"Yeah i get it hes dead."

I walked out and drove home. Fin tried following me but i ran to fast. It was late at night and Rebekah was still up sitting by the door.

"Mom, I was worried about you! Wait, whats wrong?"

"Nick died. Nick. Died."

Her face turned red.

"Mom im so sorry."

After everything Nick has done to me, i cant believe hes dead.

My stomach still ached because I just had delivered my baby girl a week and a half ago, and buried her a week ago. It felt as if there was a curse on me. I went into my room and laid there. I missed everything about the man- besides his temper.

The next morning I heard a knock on the door and it was Carisi.

"Amanda. I am so sorry."

Carisi and i had been 'together' i guess you could call it. We never had sex, or kissed really. We just went on dates and were company for eachother. He helped me through some of the hardest times of my life and i have done the same for him.

"Come in. Please."

"Hey Rebekah! How are you?"

"Hey Dom, I guess good."

"Sit please." I said.

"I will give you two some privacy." Rebekah said as she walked into her room.

"Thanks Bekah!!!" I shouted as she walked away.

"So how you holding up? I have been worried about you."

"I mean im okay, i could be twenty times better. Its been relaxing being home with Rebekah now that she is doing online schooling but then this happened so i mean how much more crappy can this month get."

Carisi didnt know what to say and just looked at me. I moved in closer, I made the first move until Rebekah came out to get water and yelled "EEWW CARISI IS HOOKING UP WITH MY MOTHER!!"

Lemme tell ya, that scared Carisi.

"This isnt "hooking up". Its called kissing. Now go back in your room."

"Dominick im sorry. She gets like that but its just her age."

We resumed kissing until he got a page on his pager that he needed to go into the office.

"See ya babe"

"I will be in the precinct tomorrow to get some paper work and talk with everyone."

"See you tomorrow!" He shut the door behind him.

I knocked on Rebekah's door. She was watching a youtube video on ballet pointe.

"Mommy i want to go that!"

"What pointe?"

"Yes!"

"Let me check into that. But i wanted to talk to you."

Her full attention was focused on me.

"Carisi and i werent hooking up, nor did we have sex on the couch. We were just kissing and i know Carisi isnt your favorite person but we were talking. I need to tell you something huge."

"I swear mom if you are getting married to him-"

"No!No!No! We will talk after dinner cause you need to do your school work today but you can come to the precinct with me tomorrow as long as you do tomorrows work."

"Yes okay." She opened her laptop and started working on geometry or something.

I wasnt 100% sure i wanted to tell her about my gambling problem a few years back, but i know every single thing about her, so i want her to know it about me.

We had homemade pizza for dinner and we were talking about gambling over it.

"So Becka, this is going to be alot to take in but i need you to listen. I know everything about you and i want you to know everything about me and for our relationship to be as open as possible."

She was chowing down on pizza but with her big blue eyes waiting for me to talk.

"So a few years back, i got into gambling. I couldn't stop until it threatened my job. I got myself into tons of trouble with owing money then the men finding out i was a cop. It was bad and thats how i got assaulted."

Her eyes seemed to bulge out of her head.

"Do you still gamble?"

"absolutely not"

"Oh alright. Well i wasnt expecting that."

I was sitting her in shock that she took it so easily. But i was also in shock that so much has changed in almost a year and im called "mommy".