Chapter 9

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As usual, I found myself in the library, drudging through homework.  Anything to keep me from slipping into thoughts of Valerie.  I sent her a text after school to apologize again for not meeting up with her.  And to confirm she was feeling ok.  Valerie didn't send a response.  Like her, being ignored drove me crazy. There was the possibility she hadn't seen the text.  Somehow, that message was lost in transmission from my brain to my heart.

The vibrations signaled a text from my aunt instead.  I looked forward to filling my evening with the stupidity of people on the internet.  More nonsense to drown out my thoughts.  I expected to spend the night in bed staring at the ceiling, anxious to see whether Valerie had deemed my denial as a reason to not sit with me at lunch anymore.

I proceeded through a desolate school building.  The only remaining students were part of the yearbook club or something and met in Mr. Jackson's room.

I went to the front of the building by mistake.

"Stupid!" I cursed after remembering that we had parked in the student lot.

Not wanting my aunt to grow impatient, I jogged through the school.  It felt good to do something normally forbidden.

The mischievous smirk on my face faded once I exited the building through the back door and the light of the sun struck my face.  Only a few cars remained in the lot.  Old cars, a Chevrolet Camaro that could be Lynn’s; and the most common vehicle at Gaston High, a red Ford Truck.

As I walked past it, I could see some movement in the front seat.  Wow, someone was really going at it.  The thought made me chuckle.  Who was so eager to hook up they couldn’t leave school? 

Curious, I shifted my trajectory leftward.

Two heads merged into one.  The kisser with the most hair caressed the other.  Finally the other pulled away, and exhaled deeply.  He smiled and said something, his eyes never leaving the girl. She smiled, and then mumbled something.  Incidentally, she turned in my direction.

My eyes met Valerie's.

I stood speechless, motionless; my absent heart not beating.  All of the external sounds disappeared, popped like a bubble.  My thoughts were hidden somewhere in the oblivion. 

"Miles," she gasped.

"Move," I mouthed mechanically.  More to myself than to her.  The first shockwave of a despair that would later hit me full force made my feet feel like lead.

Leave now.

Not my mental voice.  But instinct's.

Protect.  Run.  Hide.  Just go!

I stomped off, my gaze focused on the crackling pavement.  If I ran, I knew it would only make me look more pathetic.

"Miles!" yelled Valerie.

Audible.  That meant she was out of the truck but-

Don't ever say my name again.

Heat flooded to my ears.  Or maybe they were ringing.  Something.  I was oblivious to frantic footsteps.  I was too numb to feel anything, but I knew when my arm was being pulled.

I jerked it away, my teeth gnashed.

"Miles," she said, staring at me stupidly, still trying to access how much I had witnessed.                

I saw enough, my venomous look communicated.

"Go away," I finally choked out of my burning throat.

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