lemon lavender & long nights

"your past can only control you as much as you let it"

you told me to keep bad memories close
- even if they taunt me tirelessly
and haunt me in my sleep -
for if i don't, fate is
bound to repeat itself.

now at this time, i'd already
buried a past soaked
in throwing emotions
carelessly at someone
i shouldn't have.

i'd put it behind me,
nearly forgotten it all,
until i felt a familiar pang
in my chest from you
that brought it all back.

you warned me not to forget those thoughts
even if they tormented me,
but it was too late
because dear,
my mistake was loving you.

//

"you're either stuck in the past or accepting of it."

"i'm neither."

"how so?"

"i'm repeating it."