please don't be a sign

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"what would you do if i killed myself right now?"

my breath always caught in my throat
when you asked me this,
and i hate that i got used to the feeling
to the point that
eventually i barely felt it at all.

"i don't know. you wouldn't."

you promised you wouldn't.
you promised.
your words were next to worthless,
but i held onto them anyway.

"i know, but if i did."

"i don't know."

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