lemon lavender & long nights

i'm scared

i'm scared that when you grow up without me your self destruction will only worsen
trading smoking leaves to shooting amber liquid into your bloodstream
and tearing those same veins out simultaneously with a dull switchblade that i wish would just collect dust at your bedside table
but i know it never will

i'm scared your insomniac ways will worsen to the point where you don't get any sleep at all, unless you pass out from exhaustion
and even then, night terrors rack your frail body and your organs contract from the fear running through your bones
straight down to your frostbitten core,
cold and numb