40. A story that would never end

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I started crying for no reason. It was lame really but suddenly my brain went to that possibility—what if. What if things had turned out differently. What if Austin hadn't made it. And I wasn't sitting in a lobby or restaurant waiting for his smiling face. I hated that I was torturing myself but there it was, the fear. Trying to seep into my very soul. Because a world without Austin was like a world without the sun. Pointless and dead. My world would be dead.—Ally

~Austin~

Checking in took a lot longer than I thought it would. I felt bad for leaving Ally sitting in the lobby, but I wanted it to be a surprise. I'd planned everything perfectly, not that it saved me from having to fill out so much damn paperwork that I seriously almost broke the pen in half.

"Enjoy," the receptionist said with a smile.

"We will." I offered a warm smile in return and walked back to where I'd left Ally.

Even wearing a blindfold she looked beautiful. But something was wrong, her shoulders were hunched, and she was holding herself like she needed comforting, like the world was crumbling around her and she was powerless to stop it.

"Ally?" I knelt down in front of her and grabbed her hands. "Are you alright?"

"Y-yes," she whispered. "I think so." A solitary tear slid down her cheek.

Panicking, I rose to my feet and then sat next to her, pulling her in my arms. "Are you hurt? What happened? Did something happen? Talk to me."

"My heart." She let out a pathetic sigh. "Sometimes even though I know in my heart that you're alive and you're here, I just—I go back to that place. I go back to the nightmares, the moments when I realized I might lose you forever. It sucks, and it's unfair and it's totally ruining what I'm sure is going to be an amazing wedding night, but it's just...Austin, it's terrifying, crippling." She shuddered and then reached for her blindfold with shaking hands. I stopped her before she could take it off.

"Ally, do you trust me?"

"Y-yes."

"Then leave the blindfold on, sweetheart." Her hands were like icicles. I brought them to my lips and kissed each fingertip. "I want you to be able to focus on my voice—nothing else. Not the fear, not the anticipation of where we are, but every word coming out of my mouth."

I released a heavy sigh and leaned in so that my lips were grazing her ear. "Ally, the worst has happened. I should have died. I didn't. I'm right here. Next to you. Holding you. When your mind tries to take you to that place—you need to fight it. The battle is in your head. The minute you start giving power to those thoughts you've already lost. Fear wins. Don't let fear win, Ally. Love—our love—it can't flourish where fear is present. Do you get what I'm saying?" I pulled back a bit to watch the reaction on her face.

More tears, and then a muffled, "No."

Chuckling, I squeezed her harder. "This could be my last night on this earth. I could choose to be afraid and hole up in a hotel room or I could live. Remember you always have a choice. Don't let your mind cripple what your heart already knows to be true."

I gripped her hand and placed it over my heart. "And Ally even if it was my last night. I would do nothing different. Absolutely nothing. Because I'm with you. My other half, my soul mate."

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