It All Started With An Apple

Chapter 46

I dropped my bag onto the hospital floor, flopping into the chair beside the hospital bed.  With a deep sigh I dished through the contents of my bag, pulling out my homework.  I know it was odd: doing my homework in Dannon’s hospital room.  But there was no other way for me to get it done.  The hospital had become like a second home, excluding the park.  And when I was home I was usually sleeping or watching TV with Garrett.

“You’re here today?”

I glanced up as Tom stepped into the room, a coffee in his hand.  He looked so tired, so out of energy.  I pursed my lips and nodded.  “I’m here every day, Tom, you know that.”

It was Tom’s turn to purse his lips.  “Brianne, I know that visiting is important, but spending all of your time here isn’t healthy.  You need to socialize with your friends.”

“I do socialize.”  I shrugged, answering a question on my homework.  “Just not as often anymore.”

 “Dannon wouldn’t want this.”  Tom sounded pained.  “He would want you to live your life.”

I scowled at the floor before turning to Tom.  He was leaning against the wall, his arms crossed over his chest.  He was staring at me intently, like he was trying to get me to see it his way.  I met his gaze with fierce determination.  “I am living my life,” I said softly, pointing to Dannon, who, as always, remained motionless in the hospital bed.  “He happens to be it.”

“What are you going to do when he’s gone?” Tom whispered.  “If you isolate yourself now, you’re going to be lost.”

I sucked in a breath, trying to keep the tears that burned in my eyes from spilling.  I should have been used to this.  Tom’s bluntness to his son’s condition.  He’d accepted it long ago, and, like his son, could talk about it freely.  I on the other hand felt pained when I tried to talk about it.  Maybe Tom did, too.  He just didn’t show it like I did.

“Don’t worry about me,” I muttered, shaking my head and attempting to continue my homework.  It was hopeless, really.  I didn’t understand why I tried. 

“How can I not?”  Tom moved toward me, placing his hands on my shoulders.  I glanced up at him through my hair.  The worry was clear on his face.  “You’re like a daughter to me, Brianne, you know that.”

 I struggled to smile and failed.  Maybe someday I’d succeed in smiling again.  But, as of right now, it was completely futile.  Pointless.  “I know.”  I patted his shoulder.  “And you’re like a dad to me.”

Tom sighed deeply, pulling away and looking down at his son.  It was heartbreaking to see the agony on his face.  “He really did love you,” Tom whispered.  “Even before he realized it himself.”

 I wiped a tear from my eye.  “Stop speaking in past tense,” I muttered.  “He still loves me.”

Tom stared at me for a long time before sighing.  “You have no idea how lost he was, Brianne.  I don’t even think he realized it.  He kept reassuring me that he was fine, that he just wanted to live a normal life.  He’s so much like his mother in that sense.  But you could see the misery if you looked close enough.  I could hear him asking God to give him so he could be strong for me at night when he was supposed to be sleeping.  And once and a while I could hear him crying.”

So he had known that Dannon wasn’t as strong as he said he was.

 “But then he met you and all of a sudden you couldn’t see the misery in his eyes anymore.  He was legitimately happy for the first time in a long time.  And when I asked him about it he denied it of course.  You stupid teens and denying that you have feelings for someone.  He simply said, ‘I made a new friend, Dad.  She’s really cool, you’d like her.’  You know how annoying that was?”