Chapter 48

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My happiness I found that day in the hospital didn’t last long.

As time continued on, my hope began to dwindle.  It wasn’t long before I began to retreat back to my original state.  The regular smiles that were just beginning to sprout were shrinking back to the miniscule ones.  Everyone who’d just begun to stop worry about me were back to shooting me anxious glances, begging me to join them in activities.

There were only a few days before Dannon’s time expired.  The doctors were surprised that he was still here, actually.  So technically I could lose him at any moment, any time.  All I wanted to do was sit in front of Dannon’s hospital bed and wait for him to open his eyes.

But he wasn’t going to.  And the sooner I got that in my head, the better off I was going to be.

“What happened to you?”

I peeked out from the book I’d been attempting to read (in vain), sighing.  Garrett leaned against my bedroom’s doorframe, his arms crossed over his chest.  I shook my head, turning back to my book.  I didn’t need this right now.  I needed to keep my tortured thoughts to myself.  No one needed me getting all sentimental on them when Dannon’s time was running out.

“Brianne, don’t you dare ignore me.”  Garrett glared, shooting across the room and to my bed.  He gripped my face tightly within his hands, trying to figure me out with just his eyes.  “You were happy.  It may have been for a short moment, but you were smiling again.  What happened?”

I internally groaned.  “Come on, Garrett—”

“No.”  Garrett shook his head.  “It kills me to see you like this, Brianne.  And to think that you were getting better and now you’re not—it’s heartbreaking.  What happened?”

I sighed deeply, closing my eyes.  “It’s going to sound so stupid.”

“I assure you it won’t.”

I hesitated before finally deciding to divulge.  I mean what was the point?  Garrett wasn’t going to let it go until I spilled anyway.  “A little while ago when I was in the park,” I began, “I fell asleep.  It’s not exactly an occurrence, you know?  Except, usually I have those dreams where Dannon has a seizure.  Nightmares, you know?”

Garrett nodded.  I sighed shakily, readying myself to continue.  It’s amazing how in such a short time your strength can grow or diminish altogether.

“But that day it wasn’t a nightmare.  Dannon and I were just lying there, talking.  And then he said to me, ‘I may be gone now, but I’ll be back soon.  I’d never leave you, hon.’  And despite everything, despite the guarantee that he’s not coming back, I couldn’t help but feel like he was telling the truth.  That he wasn’t going to leave me and everyone else.  But now he only has days left and he’s not waking up.”

I sniffed, wiping a stray tear from my cheek.  I glanced at Garrett, attempting to smile but failing.  “There, I told you.  Laugh away.”

Instead of laughing, Garrett reached forward and pulled me into his arms.  I hugged him back, crying softly.  This was exactly what I meant when I said that this false hope was only going to leave me heartbroken.  This was why I tried not to allow myself to hope, to think that there was a chance.  Sure, I’d been happier for a little while, but now I was more hurt than ever.  Was that really better?

Was it really?

Garrett and I both looked up as someone began knocking on the door.  I shot Garrett a confused expression, and in return I received a grin.  So he knew who had arrived, had he?  That wasn’t exactly comforting.

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