The pirate boy (Frerard, Petekey)

Chapter twenty two - hallelujah, fuck me

Chapter twenty two - hallelujah, fuck me

lmao I cried at school again today and yesterday dad forgot to feed me lunch and mom forgot my dinner so I ate a yoghurt and cried some more lmao

also sidenote when i say lmao i do not mean i am actually laughing my ass off i mean i am being a sarcastic shit haha fuck me

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Gerard was watching me again.

Staring at me, convinced I couldn't see him, as I fumbled through the various maps scattered over the floor, with something like tiredness in the slump of his shoulders. We had been fighting more often lately, and I wasn't sure why. It didn't seem like much of a release for Gerard; he only ended up more tense and sharp after he had knocked me down, despite the control he had regained over our training sessions and the hostile stance he had taken on when concerning fighting– no matter who with. It made my stomach drop a little to think that I was no exception. I wondered absently if how viciously he was fighting was merely a cover-up for the fact that I was an exception, and I let myself briefly exploit the small rush I got from the delusion before shutting off the part of my mind that I had noticed was perpetually wandering back to Gerard.

It turned out that this portion of my mind was actually, essentially, my entire brain, which made it dreadfully difficult to stop thinking about Gerard, especially as we were talking privately more and more every day about Parade Island, and our planning had led to a lot of work in close proximity.

It shouldn't have been difficult to listen as he spoke about such simple topics, but the flutter of his eyelashes when he squinted down at the map was alarmingly pretty, and the soft drawl of his voice would rush all through me like the tide below us, forcing all my muscles and brain cells out of operation. I cracked my knuckles one by one, flinching at each snapping sound and hoping pitifully that it would ground me somehow. It was a rather pathetic distraction from the heat of Gerard's breath on my cheek as he scanned through the paper I was holding from over my shoulder.

"I can't focus with you breathing down my neck like that," I snapped, masking the way my voice shook slightly with hostility. Gerard backed away sharply, and when I turned to apologise there was a look of vulnerability about him, and instantly, I knew that I had been far too harsh. "I'm sorry–"

"No," Gerard blurted. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have been so close." He turned his gaze downwards. "Forgive me."

"Gerard, no, I'm sorry."

"Forgive me," he insisted.

My voice came out softer than I had intended when I spoke. I realised, with a flicker of distress, that my emotions were showing through. "Always," I said, despite the faint promise the word seemed to hold.

Gerard too seemed to notice the unusual rawness of my voice, and a feeble streak of something I didn't recognise glassed over his eyes. Quietly, but frantically, I glossed over all the times I'd seen that emotion on his face before, but they all seemed to be unrelated instances. Nothing I could tie together.

The air between us was thick and clogged, and the both of us seemed to have got caught in a strain of confusion about the same thing. What was happening between us? I prayed that it was just something to do with Parade Island and that it would leave once the whole affair was over.

As soon as Gerard departed the room, I started to sift through the papers scattered over the desk, searching for another 'prophecy', as such. Something that could justify what I was feeling, and explain how Gerard was acting.

I found nothing that was any help to the predicament I was in, but I did come across something rather significant: according to the map, we were scheduled for yet another run in with the Aurora– and it was looming fast. I kept it from Gerard. There was just something that made me feel uneasy about Gerard preparing for the battle.