words ft. lyrics

don't think about it, don't overthink about it

maybe i could swim into your thoughts like your drugs do

overthinking sucks. the thoughts just crawl along your spinal chord, up the route where your nerves are, and go directly into your brain. the thoughts plague my mind like bees around a hive, the buzzing sounds reverberating in my head, rendering me helpless as i try to fight against them.

even the loud music i'm listening to now doesn't help. i can't turn the volume up any louder because it will harm my ears. and if i lose my hearing it will be the end of the world for me. music isn't just part of my life, it is my life. i can't imagine the day waking up and not being able to hear the soft legato strokes of the violin, or the energetic pop punk riffs of electric guitars, or the mellow staccato notes that plucking the double bass produces. i won't be able to hear the complicated yet catchy drum beats of my favourite bands, the melodious and angelic voices of different singers, the voice of comfort my violin provides.

the singer seems to be taunting me with the words he is singing.

"so look at me in the eye / is anyone there at all"

i feel like he is speaking directly to me through my headphones, his raspy yet soothing voice oozed desperation, as if he is pleading to me if there is anyone out there who could help him. on the receiving end, i feel like he is speaking to me on a personal level, those words hitting straight home. was anyone out there to pull — or drag — me from these pool of thoughts. i am drowning in them, with only one hand at the surface waving frantically and desperately calling out for help.

this isn't the first time and i should've know better. only i can save myself from these thoughts. distractions are short-term, ultimately it's all in my brain. only i can get the key to lock these thoughts and hide them in a chest and bury them all the way to the back of my brain.

the serotonin's gone, the kerosene is gone, the sunset is gone... 

∞

song: the divine zero // pierce the veil

check out the divine zero by pierce the veil!! i personally think it's as good as disasterology, or even better :) 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hzOF3R7lnok

dedicated to a dear friend, even though she won't see this.