Morphed

Chapter Seven

Hello all! I think you'll like today's lyrics, from the song Nothing I Won't Give, by Vic Mignogna, the very voice actor of our very special Edward Elric! (Three cheers for Vic!) Link to the song here:watch?v=UxTpimwMHEA

Also, just a warning, this chapter touches on a very deep emotional level from Edward, and there is a lot of mentions of his rape in it, so just go in prepared. Also, again, if any of you are uncomfortable with what I'm writing, feel free to let me know.

Love you guys: Enjoy.

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I promise you, there is nothing I won't give

To see this through
Return the soul to where it lives
I promise you, I'd go everywhere I've been
To find a way to make atonement for my sin and see
See your smiling face again

~Nothing I Won't Give (Vic Mignogna)

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Edward walked through the forest outside of central, hands shoved into his pockets, thinking about everything. The day was nice, the sun was up, the breeze was cool, and the birds chirped away in the trees as Ed walked by them. There was none of the city's noise out here, the thick canopy of trees blocking it all away. It had become one of Edward's favourite places to be over the past month, since he had been rescued from the basement where he had been held captive. He enjoyed the peace and quiet here, and it helped him to think about whatever was on his mind without having to worry about distractions.

He had found this place a few days after he had finally given away his secret to Maes Hughes, his host and his like-a-dad. Since then, he had come here almost daily, to compose himself after Mustang beat him up, or to simply think about stuff. Today, he was thinking about Alphonse. He had talked to his brother one or two times since he had found out that his brother couldn't make it to Central for a while, and all the while he had been feeling like he was letting his brother down. How exactly, he didn't know, but it was his nature to blame himself for everything, so that was what he did. Al was probably worried sick about his older brother, and that made Edward mad. It was Edward who was supposed to bear everything, because he was the eldest. It was him who was tasked with bearing the pain, the fear, the guilt, the rage. That was his job, yet somehow Alphonse had still been assigned fear because of him. Probably rage, too, because Edward had been stupid and gotten himself kidnapped, and maybe even guilt. Edward was supposed to protect his little brother from those things, but he hadn't. He was a failure for an older brother. An absolute failure.

Kicking a pebble out of his way, he sat down beside the trunk of a tree. He liked the feel of the bark pressing against his back, for some reason. He suspected it was because it wasn't rock. Anything was better than rock. A wave of guilt rolled over him, and it wasn't the first. If Alphonse were here with him, and had sat down beside him, and leaned his back on this tree, he would not have been able to feel the course bark pressing against his skin, because he didn't have skin, he had armour. He didn't have a body, he had a cold shell, empty of everything except a blood seal that was all that bound his baby brother's soul to the world. Ed had been the cause of that. Ed had been the reason that Alphonse had tried to perform Human Transmutation, in an effort to bring back their deceased mother. Ed had convinced him to do it with him, because he had been greedy, and didn't want to live without his mother, because he was too weak to do it. So they had done it, they had done what was strictly forbidden, and they had attempted to revive the dead. Edward had lost merely a leg for his attempt, but Alphonse had lost his entire body. It was A who had been given the bigger burden to bear, instead of Edward. It had been all his fault.