The Winter Born [COMPLETED]

Chapter 36 - The Calm Before The Storm

The Winter Festival never fails to warm my heart. Even in the year that Father died, the Outlanders would give me sympathy or make me dance until I can't feel my legs, and for a moment then, the grief was gone and there was only the snow and the black vast sky.

The festival on the year before is once a warming memory to me. Ethan showed me the dancing colors of the sky. It was so beautiful, my heart still jumps at the memory. He gave me a locket too, something I can keep. The purple rose.

But this year, no one comes to say their sympathy or dance with me. No foods, no drinks, no dancing for this dark night. Swords are being sharpened and armors are being worn. The war cries seem to be bellowed every five seconds.

But it's good, it cuts my thoughts of the Winter Festivals before this treacherous year-- it distracts me. I'm in a sea of people just at the edge of the forest, bringing a whetstone to my spear over and over again, thinking how many of my friends around me would die.

The trees are high and looming over us with thick white snow and icicles on their skeletal branches. More snow is coming down and I puff into my head, relaxing a little at the short comfort of heat. The Outlanders don't seem to mind. They are too busy besting at their swords, the weapon that could mean life or death to them.

I know they are scared, deep down. But the prize of freedom conquers all their fears. And the thoughts of Father conquer mine. Maybe this war can be my redemption to him. Every word I didn't say and all the things I did that scarred his heart-- maybe he will forgive me if I fight too. Maybe. He is always kind.

I can hear children crying and mothers trying to console them. And at the corner of my eyes, I can see Nala hugging the baker for maybe the last time. Her tiny body is shaking and her parent's face is hard from not trying to cry.

Both of them are going. If they both die, Nala will be an orphan-- who will take care of her? Perhaps she will take my spear from my corpse and she will be a hunter that wants to kill all the Valarians in her heart. Just like me.

She doesn't deserve this, she is just a little girl with a big mouth and voice brighter than her red hair. And now that voice is crying for her father and mother.

There's a tense in the air. The calm before the storm. The goodbyes to their family and lovers. My heart clenches. I haven't said anything to Mother or Laila. This might be the last time. Even though they didn't tell me, I know both of them are not going to battle.

Gavin said that we will win. We have too.

I look up to the sky to meet with the blank black curtain. They are no stars tonight, only the full moon, and somewhere on the mountains maybe we can see the Northen Lights again.

But now it's black and so dark that for once, the night makes me feel suffocated. As if the sky is a curtain that's closing in every single moment I'm not looking.

Once, I heard they say that when war ever comes, the stars will be red. The stars will shine as bright as blood and the moon will not show. But they are no stars, and the moon is our guiding light to Valaria. That saying is wrong.

But Naerys' sayings are right. I am Winter Born. I did bring war and I will bring death. But not to the Outlanders. To the Valarians. They will taste what we have endured and they will suffer.

War will bring peace, I think of Gavin's words. And death will bring life.

Life. Children that will not know what it feels like to be hungry or cold. Children that are hoping to this cruel world.

Blood courses through me, my body becoming stronger and my desire to live harder. I may die, I realize. Despite everything, fear still stabs my heart. And they are things I haven't say to the ones that I love.