The Astronomy Tower < #wattys2016 >

Melancholy Reflections

Monday December 11th 1995

Hermione sat alone at the top of the astronomy tower gazing out onto the silver Hogwarts night, with no company except her own drifting thoughts. A week had gone by and Hermione still couldn't get the image of Ron and Lavender out of her mind. The pain returned as her chest constricted with the memory of it all. She had tried to forget about it, but was finding it a bit challenging, considering that every time she turned around, she was treated to the sight of the two sharing a messy, passionate kiss.

Hermione sighed. Why Lavender? Why not her? She had never entertained the thought of Ron dating another girl. She had always just assumed... Pain ripped through her chest, and she found herself unable to breathe. Would Ron ever look at her that way? Tears stung her eyes as she thought about the girl who she had shared a room with for the past six years. She was pretty, but there were other girls, nicer girls, who went to Hogwarts that would most likely entertain Ron with the thought of a date.

But why Lavender? Couldn't he had picked anybody else but Lavender? Well... besides Parkinson, which the chances of that happening were slim, but yet again, she had though the same thing about his current mate, hadn't she?

Hermione considered the way that Lavender had never stopped talking about Seamus Finnigan last year, and how she had made empty promises in the night to talk to him the next morning at breakfast, only to abandon them in the early hours of the following day. She considered the way that at the end of the year last year, Pavarti had taken the task of comforting the girl when she cried about not seeing her crush all summer, only to come back in September with new infatuations. Lavender had been throwing herself at Ron ever since September first when they had returned to the ancient school. Lavender threw herself at Ron, the way she had at Seamus last year. But unlike Seamus who had been clever enough not to fall for the girl's games, Ron had dove head first into the pretty woman who was Lavender Brown.

Sure, Hermione wasn't the prettiest girl at Hogwarts, she would be the first to admit that. But she certainly wasn't ugly. She had a plain face, with brown bushy hair that didn't seem to want to do anything besides stand out in all possible directions. But it wasn't like she was hideous. She had a few things going for her: like her eyes, which were a rich, caramel brown, and she had always thought that she had a nice skin tone.

Hermione was definitely smart, that was her main asset. She was the top in their year. She stood out in classes, everybody looked at her, whether it be in a good way, or bad. Surely it wasn't that Ron didn't see her...

But Hermione realized that that was exactly it. Ron didn't see her. He saw the bushy hiared little girl that she had once been. The one with bucked teeth, and the overly bossy attitude. The little girl who had walked into their compartment one the train one day, and inquired about a missing toad. He saw the silly little girl, who had been foolish enough to get trapped in the girls bathroom with a full grown mountain troll.

Hermione wondered when she had begun to care so much about physical appearances. She certainly hadn't thought much on it ever before. She had always been confident in who she was, and that she could take care of herself. Her smarts were what helped her get by, it had always made up for what she lacked in other areas.  If Ron was really that shallow to pick a girl just because she was pretty, did she really want someone who was that shallow? Could she really stand to be with someone who was so superficial?

She shook her head to clear it of all the nasty thoughts running through it, for if she didn't, she would start crying again, and she had made a promise to herself. She then realized that it had been one week since her run in with Malfoy as well, and six days since their run in at the lake. She found herself wondering if he had visited the tower since then. Will he come tonight?