I'm fine. |stiles stilinski•

Part 19

I wake up the next morning with a sinking feeling in my stomach; like butterflies, but the opposite. Nervous, anxious.

We ride to the hospital in silence; my dad, Derek, Scott and I. Barely anyone says a word even when we arrive. The doctor stood in front of us is the first to break the silence.

"So, Mr Stilinski..." He murmurs, scanning some papers.

"Ah, yes." He says, when he finds what he wants to tell us.

"Is everything okay?" My dad asks desperately.

The doctor doesn't answer and just carries on scanning the paper, mumbling thing to himself like: "aha, interesting, hmm".

"Okay, Stiles. So, in your scan, some of the cancerous cells were destroyed." He tells me. I sigh in relief, but then realise he said 'some'.

***

Primary cardiac tumour. Also known as heart cancer. I stop and stare, not taking anything else in the doctors saying. I'm gonna die. For fucks sake!

I tune back in and hear the doctor say: "This form of cancer is extremely rare, and normally we only record about one case of this an entire year."

And obviously that one lucky person is me.

"I didn't even know heart cancer was a thing!" My dad bursts, a look of anger and sadness all over his face.

"Not many do, as it's such a rare form." Says the doctor. "I'm sorry Stiles." He says, looking at me.

"I thought I was gonna get better..." I say, my voice cracked and broken.

The doctors face looks at me with sympathy.

"You might do. That all depends on how the cancer reacts with radiotherapy treatment, which we're going to put you on after this block of chemo." Says the doctor. I breathe in deeply, my heart racing anxiously, sweat forming in the palm of my hands.

Suddenly Scott rests a hand on my back to comfort me. I look at him and realise he's been crying.

"Dude, it's okay."I say, my eyebrows furrowed into a frown at him.

***

I get dropped off at school the week following my scan results. Malia sees me in the parking lot and helps carry my books- just to be on the safe side- whilst I carry my cannula.

"Wouldn't wanna repeat of last time." She laughs. I laugh back. She's like the only one not stepping on eggshells around me.

"Hey, so, how're you doing?" I ask genuinely.

"I'm actually pretty good." She answers back, smiling.

"That is great to hear." I laugh back cheerfully.

"And how're you doing, Stiles?" She asks, her voice still cheery. Suddenly her question, like a black hole, sucks all the humour and smiles out of the conversation.

"I'm..." I begin, my voice croaking, "fine." I say, smiling a smile that doesn't meet my eyes.

"Hey," she says softly, touching my arm, "you don't have to lie." She says, smiling at me encouragingly, but pityfully.

I sigh. "I'm not doing too well..." I begin, my voice deep and husky. "I just thought... I thought it would be easier than this..." My voice trails off and I gasp for breath, a tear rolling down my cheek. Malia scrunched up her eyes, as if in pain, then looks up at me, her face completely possessed by sadness.

She just hugs me, her arms tight around my fragile body.

"You guys okay?" Lydia asks alarmingly as she approached us, her high heels tapping intimidatingly as she struts through the hall.

We both nod awkwardly, as Lydia looks me up and down, as if checking for damage.

"I'm fine." I assure her, batting my remaining eyelashes at her. She huffs back.

"How're you doing?" Lydia asks, her eyebrows furrowed. I haven't told her about the scan results yet.

"I'm okay, for now." I say, half smiling, trying to look casual.

"For now?" Asks Malia, a brow raised.

"I, er... I had my scan results back the other day." I breathe, looking nervously at both of them.

"And?" Asks Lydia, mimicking Malia's eyebrow raise.

"And... I have heart cancer. Primary cardiac tumour..." I mumble, my voice weak and shaking.

Lydia gasps, and Malia puts a hand over her mouth.

"You... You what?" Lydia stumbles in disbelief.

"Yeah..." I say, my voice hoarse. "The cancer spread to my heart." I tell her, my hands shaking as I twiddle my thumbs.

"Stiles..." Malia murmurs, but just takes me into a hug.

"I'm fine," I chuckle dryly, my voice muffled in her hair.