Always there for you

6. A mistake?

Tommy's POV:

He's kissing me. Why the fuck is he kissing me? I don't know, whether I should pull back or just let Adam kiss me. Did he forget that I'm actually straight?

I'm thinking to much... maybe I should just let it happen, no matter what. So I close my eyes and return the kiss.

Adam lets off of me, waits for me to open my eyes again and whispers: "I love you, Tommy!"

I'm so surprised I can't answer. But there's no need to answer, because Adam has already started to kiss me again. This time longer and more passionately. And I don't stop him. I lay my guitar on the floor next to me.

Adam pushes me down on the sofa, that I lie on my back and continues making out with me. I don't know, whether I should like that or not, but Adam seems to like it, so I let him have his fun.

He slowly takes my shirt off and kisses down my neck. I just lie there with my eyes closed and try to enjoy what Adam's doing. He touches my chest while giving me another passionate kiss.

I don't know if it's right, what we're doing. It feels good, I can't deny that. In fact Adam is a very good kisser. But the whole thing felt kind of wrong though...

I've always been attracted to women and still am. Adam doesn't change that. It's so nice of him how he cares about me and does anything to make me feel safe, but I don't love him. Sure I do, but only as a friend.

Adam softly bites my earlobe now, than kissing me, sliding his tongue in my mouth. Ok, now it's enough!

"I can't to this!", I say, push Adam away from me and sit up.

"Why not?", he askes. He seems like he doesn't really care about what I've just said and tries to kiss me again.

"No Adam, stop!" I turn me face away.

Adam looks surprised and a bit shocked, maybe because my voice became a bit too loud. I didn't mean to scare him.

"I'm sorry, but it's wrong what we're doing. You're my best friend!"

"And you think it's not possible for us to be more than friends?"

I take my shirt back on and sigh.

"I don't want us to be more. I really like you, but I'm straight, you forgot? Just don't ever kiss me again."

"You didn't like it?" Adam looks disappointed.

"I've never said that."

"But if you liked it, why did you stop me?"

"Because I'm straight. I'm NOT attracted to men!"

I stand up and want to leave the room, but Adam follows me and grabs my hand.

"Are you sure?"

I pull my hand away from him. "Of course I am!"

"Come on, Tommy! I know you liked it! Don't lie to yourself."

Now he crosses the line! I'm not lying to myself!?

"Adam, I'm sorry, I don't love you. We'll never become more than friends. I think you should better go home now."

Adam tries to say something, but I shut him up. "Don't!"
Then I guide him to the door.

Adam's POV:

Tommy closes the door in front of my eyes. I get in my car and drive home. During the drive I think a lot.

I ruined everything! How will I ever be able to look in Tommy's eyes again? Everything's my fault. I just shouldn't have done that. How could I have been so stupid and kiss him, although I knew he's straight?

Well, I hoped that he would feel the same.... he doesn't!
Are we still friends? What if he hates me now?

I felt a tear running down. I wipe it away quickly. I'm so mad at myself, because I made such a stupid mistake...

When I arrive at my home, I head inside and fall onto my sofa. I don't feel like doing anything today, I'm too upset.

I look at my phone. My lockscreen was picture of Tommy, the man I love. It hurts, what he said to me, it really hurts. Another tear falls down couldn't he admitt it? Maybe he's just afraid of the fact, that he liked kissing me. Maybe he's afraid of his feelings.

Ok, probably that's bullshit! He doesn't love me. He's straight and nothing else.

And I'm a lonely man with a broken heart...