What Remains (BoyxBoy)

Chapter 23

One of the things Carter noticed had changed in the behavior of his parents after he had come out to them, was they way they talked to him and treated him. Not in a bad way, but for some reason they acted more carefully and spoke in a more loving and softened way to him, as if they felt obligated to make sure he still felt loved by them after he told them about his true self.

But he didn't want that. He just wanted them to treat him the same, as if nothing happened. They meant well, of course, but he didn't want to be treated differently just because of his sexuality.

He wasn't his sexuality, after all. It was a part of him. His entire existence was not being gay, being gay was part of his existence.

His mother had always called him "honey" and "sweetie", but now she called him that in every single sentence she spoke to him.

"Yes, honey."

"No, honey."

"Sweetie, could you get that for me?"

"Did you sleep well, honey?"

"Sweetie, be a sweetie and get the phone for me?"

"Honey, would you like some honey with your tea?"

Even yesterday, when they were setting up the Christmas tree and decorating it with old and new tree decorations, each sentence his mother had spoken to him contained one of those corny nicknames.

And now, during breakfast, it seemed that it hadn't changed at all. When his mother spoke the sentence "here's some bread for you, sweetie", he almost had the urge to say something about it, but he didn't want to make a scene. He knew his mother meant well. Though now that his parents knew, Carter couldn't help but wonder what it would be like if his friends knew the truth as well. He wondered how they would react, and what they would think about him. Would they still be his friends? Would they reject it and stop being friends with him? So far, he didn't know anyone at his school who was openly gay. And if there were gays in his school who were still in the closet, he wondered who it could be. Well, he also knew about one; Josh. But he wondered if there were more people like Josh. Gays who are hiding who they are because their parents don't approve of it. Thinking about that, actually made Carter sad.

Because he had always wondered, and was still wondering, what is so bad about being gay? Why does the Bible apparently forbid it? He didn't understand. Maybe he didn't even want to understand. Such hatred, when he had always thought religion was supposed to celebrate the love God has for all.

When he got to school, he could see that over the weekend, Christmas decorations had been put up in the hallway as well. Posters of the Christmas Dance were stuck to the walls and on some of the lockers. The dance was in two weeks, right before the Christmas Holidays. Carter would probably spend both Christmas and New Year's eve with his parents at home, watching Christmas movies on the television, as well as the countdown from New York City. Basically how he had spent almost every Christmas and New Year's eve so far.

When Carter stood at his locker, grabbing the books he needed for his next class, he was taken by surprise when an arm suddenly draped over his shoulder. He looked up and his eyes met with those of Paxton, who was looking back at him with a smile.

"Good morning," he said and leaned a bit against the smaller male.

"Good morning," Carter said. "Any particular reason why you're so happy?"

Paxton grinned deviously and removed his arm before he went to lean against the locker wall. "I asked Riley to go to the dance with me, and she said yes," he said.

"Riley...?" Carter furrowed his eyebrows, having no idea who that was.

"Yeah, Riley. One of the hottest girls in school! She said yes when I asked her to go to the Christmas dance with me. I got myself a date," Paxton proudly announced.