Away Isn't Far Enough

10. This Gotta Stop

They had eaten breakfast in silence. It was unusual for them not to talk, bicker or laugh. But they each had a newspaper section to read so they could pretend nothing was wrong. But when they got into the car, Booth felt helpless.

"Fine!" he said really loudly. "I'm sorry!"

She gave him a questioning look.

"What for?"

"Whatever you're mad at me for."

"I'm not mad at you. I have headache and feel like crap. Yeah, ok. You can be sorry for that."

"So you're not pissed at me?" he checked.

She was. But he would not understand why. The reason was blurry even to her. She was pissed at herself, mostly.

"You didn't do anything wrong, Booth."

"Then why aren't you talking?"

"You're not talking either. And I enjoy silence. Particularly this morning."

"I hate silence. You know that."

"Then turn on the radio!" she said.

He turned it on.

"I'm sorry for making us play that tequila drinking game..." he said after another 5 minutes of nothing to say.

She brushed it off. "That was nothing." Oh, really? "You didn't make me do anything. We were drunk, and it was fun."

"Then why are you acting so weird with me?" he asked.

"Would you stop already?!" she begged him.

"Fine."

He stepped on the break and swerved to park on the side of the road.

"I didn't mean stop the car!" she interjected.

"You never shut up usually. And I like that."

"I have nothing to say this morning, that's all. It happens."

"Is it because I read that thing on your computer?" he asked.

YES! THAT'S WHY. YOU HAD NO RIGHT. I NEVER WANTED ANYONE TO SEE THAT. ESPECIALLY NOT YOU, she thought.

Fed up, furious and about to explode, she got out of the car and slammed the door shut.

"Wha..." Booth tied to get out too, but his seatbelt was stuck.

Brennan kicked some rocks around. Calmer, she leaned back on the car, arms wrapped around herself. This needs to stop. You're a woman, he's a man. This is completely natural. The fact that you're trying to ignore your attraction is making it worse. It's not healthy. Just tell him. Tell him you want to fuck the hell out of him. But don't use those words.

Booth finally got out of the car. He stood next to her and folded his arms too.

"I don't want things to change between us," Booth confessed.

She looked up, at his face. He had his dramatic face on. His eyes met hers. She needed him by her side. Sleeping with him would change things. Definitely. I know sex and emotions don't have to be related. He doesn't. But their relationship, whatever it was, was more important than anything.

"I don't want things to change either."

"Good. So let me ask you one thing," he said.

That doesn't sound good.

"What?"

"That wasn't your new book, was it?"

She didn't answer. Which kind of answered.