Sister, Sister (Book Five, BTVS)

chapter 15 - I Was Made to Love You

   After dark in the Magic Box in the training room, I was punching a puffy punching bag ahead of me repeatedly, vigorously.

Giles and Buffy were standing nearby.

"So he actually said it this time?" Buffy asked. "He actually said 'I love you'?"

"Do we have to talk about this?" I asked, turning to face Giles and Buffy.

"How obscene is all this?" Buffy asked.

"Well, it is very strange," Giles told me. "I mean, I can't imagine what he's thinking." I tilted my head, turning back to the punching bag, punching it repeatedly. "No--not that you're not attractive."

"That's not the issue, Giles," I told him. 

"Then what is?" Giles asked.

"Kinda blaming myself for this," I answered.

"That's ridiculous," Giles told me. "You can't be responsible for what Spike thinks or feels."

I stopped punching the bag. "Well, aren't I responsible? I mean, something about me had to make him feel that, right? Something that made him say, 'Ooh, that's the one for me'."

"And you're sure it doesn't have anything to do with anything else?" Buffy asked knowingly.

I gave Buffy a look, punching the bag repeatedly, more frustrated, kneeing it.

"Zoey, I think you should perhaps calm down," Giles told me.

"Me, too," Xander told me.

I had completely forgot that the punching bag was Xander in a hockey goalie mask and a big, puffy fat suit. "Oh, puffy Xander. Um..." I took the mask off of him. "I'm sorry. I got--I guess I got carried away. Are you okay?"

"I'm alive," Xander told us. "I can tell 'cause of the pain."

"Do you want to sit down?" Buffy asked.

"I'm not that bendy," Xander told us. He nodded to the wall. "I could lean."

"I'll get some ice," Giles told us, walking out, leaving.

Buffy and I helped Xander waddle over to the wall, helping him lean against it.

"Here," Buffy told him. "Comfy?"

Xander nodded. "Oh, yeah. This leaning? This is the stuff." 

I nodded, looking away. "See, that's my secret to attracting men. You know, it's simple, really. You slap them around a bit. You torture them. You make their lives a living hell and--"

"Zoey," Xander told me. "The problem is not you. Don't do this to yourself, please."

"I know," I told them. "The problem may not be me, but it's in me." I sighed, shaking my head. "I don't know how to explain it."

      ~~~~~     

The next day, Mom was going out on a date, in a dress that had food and flower designs.

Dawn and I were teasing her.

Mom spun around to show off the dress.

"I might like it more than the others," I told her. "Can you spin around again?"

Mom spun around again.

"Ooh, I'm not sure," Dawn told her. "Once more."

Mom spun around again.

"Now, could you go the other way?" I asked.

Mom started to go the other way, realizing, looking at us. "You're messing with me."