The Secret Life of Poot Lovato

The Vagina-Flicking Vile

"Good morning fat."

"Hello? Who's speaking?"

"It's Poot."

"Putin?"

"It's Poot, your sister, you dumb bitch. You thought I was dead, huh? Well, sadly for you, I'm alive. Oh, and you might want to start to run, because I'm right behind you."

"AAAAAAAAAAH!" Demi let out a loud scream, one of those you can hear in Christina Aguilera's songs. She was in her bed. Two arms. Two eyes. Two chins. She was still alive. It was all just a nightmare. Demi hadn't thought of Poot in years, but lately the tought of her lost twin sister had started to torment her. Was this a sign? Did this mean something? Demi couldn't figure it out herself, so she turned to the only thing that could provide her an answer: the horoscopes.

It read: "Leo. Your past is coming back to haunt you, but if you're sly enough, you will defeat it. This is a bad week for success at work, and an even worse one for relationships. Just keep your eyes open for a life-changing opportunity. Remember to protect your private parts."

Demi was more confused than ever. She decided to just shake it off and get ready for school. She wasn't even going to wait for her scumbag boyfriend Niall to come pick her up, she was over him and she didn't want to know shit about him. But when she noticed that he was nowhere to be found at school either, she started to get worried. As she was making her way through the school hall, her bestie, Ariana, hugged her tight, shedding a tear or two.

"Get off of me, you scrawny rat!" Demi protested.

"Haven't you heard?" Ariana asked.

"Yeah, I've heard that I don't want to be touched, I just got my nails done, thank you."

"No, Demi. About Niall... He was found dead on the beach earlier this morning. His butt was wide open and his wallet had been stolen. No one knows who did that, but it was certainly a rapist or a pervert."

Demi was shocked, but she managed to control herself, answering:

"Oh, okay. I have better things to worry about right now. I have an audition for the school's talent show and I have to be flawless. Please don't try to sabotage me, or I'll tell everyone about your fake weave."

On the other side of the town, Poot was a criminal on the run. No one suspected her, as no one knew she existed. But she had Niall's wallet and car with her, and that was enough to get her into trouble. Poot stole some paint and revarnished the car. Then, she kept Niall's money, and fed the geese at the city park with his ID and driving license. Poot was full of hate. She wanted to take revenge on her sister, who had abandoned her years before, and on everyone else in that world that had always been so mean to her. Poot knew damn well that she couldn't keep flicking vaginas and buttholes for the rest of her life. Her revenge had to be big. Bigger. That type of despicable action that humanity would never forget. Poot wanted to make history as the Vagina-Flicking Vile.