Lost In Love (vol. 1)

Runnin' With The Night

"I don't want to let a minute get away, 'cause we got no time to lose

None of us are promised to see tomorrow, and what we do is ours to choose

Forget about the sunrise, fight the sleep in your eyes

I don't wanna miss a second with you, it's only getting better if we want it to."

= Never Close Our Eyes, ADAM LAMBERT

A shimmer of...something...flicked through Kyle's eyes and vanished as though it had never been there? Had it? If so...just what the fuck was it? Like a ghost in the shadows, it had been haunting Nate from the moment Kyle had started ingesting the Jack Daniels. Was it simply a byproduct of the liquor? Was it anything at all...or just a figment of Nate's confused, over stimulated mind?

He was still pinning Kyle down against the bunk, his body hot to the touch and damp with sweat. The fire was steadily dying out and the chill on the air increasing by the moment, but Nate was burning up. As the flames waned, Kyle's face receded deeper into darkness...along with whatever was hiding behind his eyes.

Lifting himself off the guy, Nate laid down on his back beside him and stared at the darkening ceiling. Neither spoke, the only sound being the occasional pop of the fire – and their labored breaths, still quick with the force of their love making.

Love making.

Was that what it was? Or had they simply been fucking? Even in his most heated, out of control moment...anything Nate did with Kyle was rooted in his love for the man. But where did Kyle's motive stem from? With his passions momentarily cooled, the fog of sexual desire clouding Nate's mind began to clear a bit. He almost wished it would come back, keep his mind from thinking and puzzling about what was really going on. He didn't want to think about it...because nothing seemed to make sense.

Why was Kyle doing this? He'd seemed almost insistent – determined – to get Nate to give in and fuck him. But again, it made no sense. Kyle had never even hinted at being gay. And if he had been gay...why wouldn't he have at least admitted it to Nate?

Nate closed his eyes and swallowed thickly. He was exhausted and just wanted to sleep, but his fucking mind wouldn't shut off. He considered just asking Kyle straight out what the hell was going on. But he had a strange feeling in his gut that Kyle would just avoid answering by making jokes.

Feeling Kyle watching him, Nate turned his head. The guy was laying on his side, his arm tucked under his head. The low burning flames cast a faint light across Kyle's face, glinting his eyes. He gazed at Nate silently. A funny, tickling sensation jittered through Nate's lower abdomen. He'd known Kyle long enough to know when the guy had something on his mind.

"What?" Nate spoke low, barely above a whisper.

Kyle just stared at him for a long moment. Nate tried to read his eyes, but they were becoming more and more shadowed as the fire burned down.

"You're beautiful, Nate." Kyle whispered suddenly, his words again catching Nate off guard.

Nate's heart squeezed and his eyes stung. He looked away and stared at the ceiling again. "And you're still drunk." He murmured, a sudden tightness to his voice. Fingertips touched his face and he flinched, glancing towards Kyle again.

"I'm serious." Kyle whispered and pushed up on his elbow, gazing down at Nate as his fingertips played over Nate's cheek and lips. "You're a beautiful man. Not just on the outside."

An uncertain frown cut across Nate's brow, leaving a deep groove. Kyle was all over the place tonight; messing with him one moment like he always did, then lusting for him sexually, and now...this? If Kyle had been an addict, Nate might have suspected he was experimenting with a new drug.