Lost In Love (vol. 1)

Do I Have To Say The Words

NOTE TO MY READERS:

I know I have been slack on  replying to your comments but please know I LOVE ALL YOUR COMMENTS!! (even the threats  haha). I'm working on multiple projects and my mind gets a bit frazzled :) I read every comment posted and am honored that you think I should be published - HUGE shot in my arm!! haha. WHEN (being optomistic) I get a book published, I will dedicate it to all my Wattpad and Booksie readers, because without you, I would have never made it this far, completed so much, or ever come so close to realizing my dream of being a writer. Don't ever think that your comments fall on deaf ears or are regarded with a 'ho-hum' attitude. I love it that you love my boys so much and cry for them as I do. They are so real to me and it touches my heart when others fall in love with them as I have fallen in love with them. Thank you SO MUCH for reading my stories and caring about my boys - that in itself makes me LOVE AND ADORE YOU!!!

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"All the doors are closing

I'm trying to move ahead

And deep down inside I wish it's me instead

My dreams are empty from the day

The day you slipped away."

-Just Want You To Know, BACKSTREET BOYS

Is he dead?

The words were bitter acid on his tongue, seeping through his mouth like poison, wanting to choke him. Every syllable echoed in his head, ricocheting off the inside of his skull. Had he really just asked that? Why would he ask that? Kyle wasn't dead. He couldn't be dead. Life didn't exist without Kyle in it. He couldn't be...

Tears were rolling down his face, dripping off his chin and jaw. He didn't know he was shaking until Janice took hold of his hands and squeezed, drawing his eyes to her face.

"Nate." Janice struggled with her words. "Kyle isn't..." Her chin trembled and she closed her eyes as tears slipped free. "Not the way you mean. But..." She opened her eyes again and gazed at his distraught face. "The only thing keeping him alive...is that machine. But he's..." She ducked her head and cried softly. "He's already gone, Nate...Kyle, he isn't..." She swallowed with effort and raised her eyes. "He isn't coming back to us, sweetheart."

The knot swelling in Nate's throat choked him. He clenched his jaw against the sobs building up inside him. "But...he could." Nate choked out. "Maybe the odds aren't great but...it is possible...isn't it? I mean...miracles happen...maybe he just..."

Help me, Nate...I'm lost...I don't know how to get back to you...

"Maybe..." Nate was crying, clutching her hands. "Maybe he's just lost...trying to fight his way back...maybe he just needs us to hold onto him..."

"Nate, baby..." Janice held his hands tighter but he pulled away, shaking.

"You're not giving up on him...are you?" Nate raked his fingers through his hair as the sobs broke loose. "He's barely been out of surgery twenty-four hours...you can't just write him off." His head snapped up, his eyes fierce. "You're his mother!"

Janice broke and wept into her hands. Nate's face crumpled and he went around the table, wrapping her in his arms, crying. "I'm sorry." He hugged her tight, sobs tearing through him. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to shout at you."

"It's okay, baby." Janice shuddered in his arms. "I know how much you love Kyle. And I know...I know how much it's tearing you apart to have to let him go." She cried against his shoulder. "I don't know how to...to say goodbye either. He's my baby."