Lost In Love (vol. 1)

The Wedding (pt. 1) - "When You Look At Me That Way"

"With each word your tenderness grows
Tearing my fears apart, and that laugh
That wrinkles your nose
Touches my foolish heart

Oh, but you're lovely, with your smile so warm
And your cheek so soft, there is nothing for me
But to love you, just the way you look tonight."

- The Way You Look Tonight, TONY BENNETT

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"I think I might throw up."

"You're not going to throw up. You'll be fine." Janice smiled and touched the front of Kyle's suit. A glossy sheen glazed her eyes. "You look so handsome. Your father would be so proud."

Kyle glanced at his reflection in the full length mirror. "I don't know." he murmured. "I pretty much kept dad in a perpetual state of exasperation."

"Can't argue there." Janice laughed softly. "But nonetheless." She bit her lower lip. "He would've given anything to be here today." She took his hand and squeezed with affection. "He always knew you and Nate were meant to be together. We both did."

Meant to be together. His mom's words blew through his heart like a warm breeze. From the moment he'd learned he was sick, and that the odds of surviving weren't in his favor – he had began to take to heart the common belief that gays were destined for hell. He recalled asking Nate that question, on their hike up to the cabin, whether or not he really believed that. It hadn't been a causal question at the time; he knew if Nate truly didn't believe it, then he could dismiss it as well. He trusted Nate's judgment. But the man hadn't given him a yes or no answer – simply said there was nothing he could do about it, either way. His words hadn't brought Kyle much comfort.

But standing here now – having been through hell and back – he knew what he believed. And what Nate believed. God had sent them to hell...but He hadn't left them there. Had he truly hated them as so many believed He did, He would've just walked away and left them to their torment. But He didn't hate them; love like this, that he and Nate shared...it could only come from the very source of love itself.

"You okay, honey?"

Kyle cleared his throat and smiled. "Yeah." He messed with this suit as he stared at his reflection. "Still feeling the urge to up-chuck, though."

"It's natural to be nervous." Janice assured. "This is a big step. It will change your life forever."

Kyle groaned. "Not helping with the nerves, mom." he smirked. His mom laughed softly and he fidgeted inside his suit. "I bet Nate isn't even sweating." he muttered. "Mr. Perfect. Just takes everything in stride."

"I'm sure he's plenty nervous." Janice smiled. "He's been waiting for this for a very long time." She gazed at Kyle's face lovingly. "Waiting for you for a very long time."

Kyle met his own eyes in the mirror, studying himself, searching for some visible reason Nate had fallen in love with him in the first place, much less waited years for him. "Why me?" he whispered.

"What do you mean, sweetheart?"

Shifting his gaze, he met his mother's eyes. "Why does he want me?" He shook his head and looked at his reflection again, his voice low. "He's...perfect. Amazing. He's like a...super man." Pressure squeezed Kyle's chest and throat. "He deserves more than..." he motioned towards the mirror. "...this."

Janice smiled and tears glistened. "Kyle, baby." she said softly, sincerely. "You're Nate's whole world. I was there when he thought he'd lost you." Her voice strained. "He nearly died himself...and would have if you hadn't come back to him. Honey, don't ever think that you're not everything he could ever want or need in this life."