life is ok - a Life is Strange parody

1 Markaroni Jeffersoni

It all began when I got this weird damn dream about me in a storm. Its was too random to be real so I brushed it off as a dream. I woke up again, in my favourite class, taught by my favourite teacher: Mark Jefferson, world famous photographer and generally the hottest teacher in Blackwell. Quite frankly, any man I know looks like an egg or a potato, so I don't have much to compare to.

One blonde bimbo, Taylor, threw a scrunched up piece of paper at my friend (with benefits), Kate Marsh. If I could turn invisible or rewind time or something, I would walk up to Kate, pick up that piece of a paper and shove it so far down Taylor's throat that her mom would feel it. But I'm obviously not that mean to even think that. I'm a nice person, but there will be consequences if you mess with my friends, bitches.

A very annoying voice coming from a very attractive yet still very annoying classmate of mine distracted me.

Victoria, the teacher's pet. Aka, the hottest douchebag-my-age of Blackwell. I am very good at descriptions. She answered Mister Jefferson's millionth question. She decided to pick on me, out of anyone, when I came to this goddamn school. Even though I'm a little flattered that I stood out to her, I'm buzzed off by her constant sneers and insults. I hate her. The type of hate where I wouldn't mind if she set herself on fire or started making out with me. I'm not too picky.

"Good answer, Victoria!" One of her two minions cheered quietly. Victoria rolled her eyes.

"Did I ask you to kiss my ass, Sally?" She whisper-yelled back, almost embarrassed.

"Actually it's Courtney but-"

"Can't you see how much I don't care?" Well, neither did I, so I stopped paying attention to their conversation. I flipped through my journal and then reached for my Polaroid camera. Selfie!

"Shh, I believe Max has taken what you dumb kids call...a 'selfie'. A dumb word for a wonderful photographic tradition. And Max, has a gift," he went off to talk about the dramatic history of selfies. I swear if he asks me a question I will flip-"now Max, since you've captured our interest and clearly want to join the conversation, can you please tell us the name of the process that first gave birth to the first self-portraits?" I will throw this table at you right now. I totally knew this a minute before he asked it but...

"You're asking me? Let me think...umm..." Well shit, there goes my future as a photographer.

"You either know this or not, Max," he smacked the table, "is there anybody here who actually knows their stuff?" Victoria raised her hand and started kissing ass again. She turned to me.

"Now you're totally stuck in the Retro Zone. Sad face," Victoria, I have one question for you, did you just speak in text lingo because I--

The bell rang, thank God. Mister Jefferson used his last moments before everybody, except Victoria of course, ran out of class as fast as their legs would take them to remind everybody to submit their photo. He's the only teacher that would make me a little thirsty, I won't lie, but he's really pushing my buttons with all that "submit your photo" crap. I lazily gathered my stuff and got up.

Kate was still sitting down, seemingly staring at the table. I gingerly picked up that piece of paper that Taylor threw at her.

'Love your porn video xoxo'

Kate is into some kinky shit. Well, I'm sold. I threw the paper into the bin, Kate probably wouldn't want that going around. I walked over to her and leaned against the table.

"Hey Kate."

"Oh, hi Max," she seemed a bit distracted by her drawing, but I didn't have any other plans so might as well annoy her.

"Whatcha working on there?" I nosily peeked over her shoulder. Looked like hentai to me. I don't judge, you gotta do what you gotta do. Or who you gotta do.

"Just doodling," sure you are. I parted from my gay angel and headed for the door. Warren wanted his flash drive back. I reached for the doorknob.

"I see you Max Caulfield, you're not leaving until we talk about your entry," I groaned internally, turning to face my professor. Victoria narrowed her pretty eyes at me. No wonder she knows like, everything in this subject. She spends at least another three hours over time chatting up Mister Jefferson. I looked down at my photo. I couldn't concentrate since I felt Victoria glaring me down. I sighed, and slapped the photo onto the desk beside Jefferson.

"Are we done? Can I leave?" I asked blankly, so much for that shy facade. Mister Jefferson was hella taken aback.

"Max...are you doing okay?" Be mean to a teacher and suddenly you become best buddies, life tip from me. I flashed him a thumbs up and a half-hearted smile. Victoria was clearly getting (hot and) bothered by this turn of events. Jefferson picked up the entry.

"I won't pre-judge but I--" my response to that was the loudly shut door. I was still a little pissed by Jefferson bringing me out into the spotlight, and I hella needed to pee. I walked by Juliet talking to Zachary about a special picture she will send him. I saw not-a-girl enter the girls' bathroom. Ninja Max mode activated. Some punk with blue hair stormed in after him. Ugh. If I walk out of that bathroom mentally scarred, I will sue this school. I covered my eyes with my arm and walked into the room.

"Sorry for the cock-block guys but I'll be out in a minute so cover up or whatever--"

"MAX?" I pulled my arm away from my face.

"CHLO-WAIT IS THAT A FUCKING GUN?"

"No, I'm Nathan Prescott, don't be fucking mean."

"But anyways, he ain't presGOT what it takes to shoot that thing," Chloe tried to stifle her laugh. Nathan shot her. I stupidly reached my hand out to help but instead I was met by a weird feeling. Everything went all blurry like that one high moment at the end of the choking game if you manage to not die (don't try this at home kids it's dangerous af and totally not worth it 0/10 would not recommend).

I was back in class. What the fuck? I bashed my head off the desk by accident. I looked up and saw the whole class staring at me.

"Whatever you're doing looks like fun, but please focus more on what we're learning rather than hitting your head off the desk," Mister Jefferson remarked, furrowing his brows. I stared at him like he had three heads. Either this is a messed up dream, or I can actually reverse time. I raised my hand again.

Rewind

Oh, wow, that was useful. Now I can listen to Mister Jefferson's lectures for as long as I please. But if I can actually travel in time....I can kill people as much as I want to. Or win the lottery or any normal thing a normal person would think about in this situation. I can literally do anything.

Taylor threw a piece of paper at Kate. I picked it up and threw it back at Taylor. Priceless.

Rewind

I shamelessly straddled Victoria and began passionately making out with her in the middle of class.

Rewind

I made a lot of paper planes and threw them at Victoria until she noticed. It hit her in the eye.

Rewind

I spun around on my chair and took a selfie with Mister Jefferson. I'm keeping that one.

Rewi-fuck, maybe I shouldn't waste my power on this crap. Maybe I could save the world...right after I do this one thing though, last one I swear.

In the next entry...
"Juliet Olson, we all know Dana is a whore and I just need my flash-drive."

"Woah, woah, woah, back in the friendzone, Warren."

"That is hella fucked up...do it again."