life is ok - a Life is Strange parody

5 Kate Marshmallow

(Next update: Sunday. Polyamorous pansexual Max is happening everybody, 100% confirmed)

I flung my alarm across the room. I am not a morning person either. When do I even have time to write this shit into my diary? Whatthefuckever, it was probably time to get up. I saw Warren creeping around outside. Typical Warren. I trod to my door, noticing that I still had not figured out the mystery of my missing cookies, nor have I watered Lisa. One day, Lisa, one day. I shrugged it off and left. Slowly...Lisa made her way to the door. One small step for plant, but a big leap for...plant.

Victoria was plaguing Courtney about getting some notes or something. I didn't care much, smirking lightly to myself about Dana spreading 90% of the rumours about Victoria over the interwebs. Booyah, you skank. I got a couple of texts from Chloe to meet her at the diner in forty minutes, but shower first.

I walked only a couple steps down the corridor, and Alyssa already got hit with like...a paper ball? I continued on my way. She turned to me.

"Max, you saw that ball coming right for me! Why didn't you tell me?" She exclaimed, folding her arms and judging me judgingly.

"GET YOUR HEAD IN THE GAME, ALYSSA!" I whisper-yelled. I didn't like being in the spotlight, unlike a certain spoilt blonde living opposite me. Alyssa didn't pester me further.

I went into Dana's room, which was blasting loud music. Somebody yelled at her to turn it down for the people who are sleeping. To hell would she do that. "Hey Dana," I started. "Everything cool with Juliet?"

"Oh yeah, thanks for the tips by the way," I think she still doesn't realise I was kidding. "She dumped her boyfriend, and mine decided to dump me..." She muttered the last part. "We're like, meant to be. Matchmaker Max strikes again!" She jumped back onto the bed where she was dancing. "I'll have to think of a cheer for you," she noted excitedly. "Max, Max, Max. Snap, snap, snap!" She plopped down onto the bed. "But the biggest news is that Juliet asked me to the Halloween shindig. Borrow one of my outfits and come as a cute geek couple with your bitch Warren," she suggested, gesturing to her closet. Maybe it was the same party Victoria and Nathan were so pumped about. "So are you coming, or not?"

"Why the fuck not? If I hate it, I can always go back to my room," I decided to be optimistic for once. Aka it was the party where I got laid. Picking up chicks with Warren and I'll make Chloe tag along. Awesome plan right there.

"Way to go Max, after this you'll be ready for a rave," I'm always ready for the mosh pit, shakah brah. Where did all my smart thoughts go?

"It does sound like fun," hella yeah, Victoria is like 90% ready to go to my room with me if I hate it. "Now I have to go contemplate my party future..." But gotta sound smart. I left her room finally. So ironic that I have time travel powers but am so poor at spending it usefully. It's probably been half an hour already, at least by the time I hit the showers.

Kate was already there. "Oh, hey Kate."

"Hey, Max. I wanted to say thank you...for yesterday," I want to point out that Kate is the best and I love her forever. We talked about a book I borrowed from her for a little. Then finally, I have reached the level of showering. That is when I realised I haven't brought any other clothes with me, meaning I'll walk back in my pyjamas. Great.

Kate was peacefully brushing her teeth and being perfect and adorable, when Victoria and Taylor (Swift) waltzed into the shower room.

"What's up, Kate?" Victoria asked. This was not gonna end well.

"School," Kate replied blankly. I was naked but I was ready to step in.

"That's it? That video of you clubbing didn't look like homework," sick burn but this is very, very bad. I grazed the edge of the edge of the shower curtain with my fingers. So, plan seemed to be to get my clothes wet or swoop in to save the day naked, like Celtic people going to war. If they can have a war naked, fuck it, so can I.

"Victoria, that wasn't me..." The bunny defended herself.

"Oh my god, right," Taylor (Swift) added. She has no other words in her vocabulary aside from "like".

"Don't be shy, I think it's awesome you set a tongue record on video," bitch you're about to set a dead record on video. Talk shit, get hit. Taylor (Swi-okay I'll stop) started laughing. It wasn't even funny. Why doesn't little rich kid Victoria buy a sense of humour if she thinks money can get her anything? I pulled on my clothes, basically soaking them but whatever, I was still covered.

Rewind

"School," Kate replied to Victoria.

"That's it? That-" I pulled back the shower curtain.

"Piss off, hipster," I swooped in and walked over to Kate's defence. Victoria opened her mouth to speak.

"Bu-"

"Did you not hear me?" I snapped. I became way more confident knowing I could rewind whenever. It was my time to shine as Queen Bee of Blackwell. The two blondes looked at each other, nervous. Victoria wanted to speak up again.

"Uh you-"

"We could talk more at that party, anyway," I brushed her off.

"You're-you're going?" She looked like a kid opening Christmas presents. I truly do have a gift. I swatted my hand at her.

"Depends," the two left finally. Kate looked at me with bright eyes. She hugged me tightly. Now her pyjamas were wet too. Wow this day keeps getting better and better. She had to go again, I didn't really mind since I had to meet up with Chloe.

I went back to my room and dressed in a shirt and jeans. You didn't need much to impress Chloe. Actually, to impress Chloe it would be better if you didn't put on clothes at all. But hey, Joyce works the diner, and it's cold, so that's not an option. Now to find Kate's book...well that was easy. It was just on my bedside table. I got it back to Kate, surprisingly without dying five times and Alyssa getting hit by three birds and a condom.

It was surprisingly peaceful outside, only Samuel sitting on a bench surrounded by birds and squirrels. Warren was chilling in front of the gate.

"Warren, what are you doing here?"

"Oh nothing--waiting. For a call? I mean, I already took the call..." Jeez Warren you can say you waited for me, you're my best friend. It didn't take long for the conversation to take a turn to talk about...a date?

"Let's go ape!" Ape movies, drive in, how old is he again?

"Yes, that's exactly what I need."

"Well that was easier than I thought. Cool. I'll text you the info," he pulled out his phone. Wowser, a date, a party, stepping up for my friends without hesitation or fear, who am I now? It was time for the longest bus ride in history.

In the next entry

"It's not everyday Victoria Chase asks you out, cancel your other thing!"

"Why have I never before seen your photography teacher, you cockblock?"