life is ok - a Life is Strange parody

4 Brooke Salt

(So yes this is like 300 words shorter than what I usually post or posted last time, pls don't count all the words and compare, so there will probably be another chapter up on Wednesday)

"We could bury him in the backyard, or throw him into the ocean. I know a place-"

"Chloe, he's still alive."

"Shame, I already had this plan..." Chloe was carried away with ideas on how to get away with murder and Warren was feeling personally threatened about this.

"We could leave him on the couch and he would think it was all a crazy dream!" Warren suggested with as much enthusiasm as he could muster in this moment of desperation. I am trying too hard to write these journal entries. It's not as if I'll be drugged, kidnapped and my journal will be read through and I will then use a selfie I took and left inside it to travel back in time to save my life...or anything.

Anyway, Warren's plan was deemed best, but Madsen was so heavy. Damn bro, lay off the donuts jeez. We dumped him in the weirdest position on the sofa downstairs. Seems legit. Now Chloe had to get us back to school so it wouldn't be suspicious. We sat in silence in the car, this time Warren was the one chilling outside in the back.

"So...I know it was your birthday last month," the punk girl started. She plopped some box onto my lap. It had a little sticky note on top.

'Happy Late Birthday, hipster - C'

"C as in Chloe?" I asked, pulling the thingie off.

"C as in clitoris," she looked at me with a shit-eating grin. I wanted to throw the box at her, but didn't want to die in a car crash. She was already a crap driver, wouldn't be surprised if in some magical timeline she got into a crash and was totally paralysed below the neck and her family became bankrupt from buying so much equipment and medicine. My predictions are getting way too specific. Shudder.

We were nearing the school. I could already see Brooke's drone snooping around, probably looking for Warren. The pick-up truck stopped at a completely not suspicious distance from Blackhell and I opened the box. Oh hey, another camera. Such originality. Much creativity.

"It was my dad's. He would get mad if I never used it. I want you to keep it," Chloe informed, glancing over at me. It was a pretty sick camera, honestly.

"Chloe...I can't take this," I decided to be humble.

"Very weird since you could take my man," Brooke backhandedly sassed. Che made a quiet 'oooooooooooo Maaaaax git rked' sound. Warren, what a ladies' man truly. I looked back at Brooke with a 'rlly' expression. That is the best description you ever heard shut up.

"I'll remember to laugh about that when I'm at the drive-in with Warren," I hella knew he was going to invite me anyway. Who else? We wouldn't even miss the party Nathan was obviously so pumped about. Since I am so great at comebacks that you should only use when you want your enemy to cRY, Brooke was like, blown away by me throwing shade. But that was probably a bad move knowing that Warren had science with her legitimately a couple minutes later. At least Nathan Prescute wasn't around now. The defeated Asian genius with a drone stormed off.

We all parted. I walked by the boys' dorm on my way to maths. Lemme tell you all about the logic of this school. It's forbidden for girls to go into the boys' dorm and vice versa, but what the school didn't think about was that the majority of this school was really gay. The Arcadia gays. I don't mean to say that the stereotype of gay people being all fashionable and artsy is pretty true, but yes that is what I am saying. (Hey I'm gay I can say that) To get into a dorm you're not meant to get into, you just go via window. You're welcome, perverts.

-about a week ago-
"What were you doing in the boys' dorm?!" David was yelling at me again.
"Dude, chill, I'm GAY."
"Girls always use that excuse."
-Fin-

I will never get a break. I was assured that when I noticed Victoria waiting by my locker. Yes, MY locker. What a dicktoria.

"Do you make out with strangers?" The spoiled blonde started, blocking my way.

"We know each other, Victoria."

"Exactly."

"So are you like," I noticed the hipster art teacher heading down the corridor, past us. I raised my voice slightly. "totally over your absolutely weird, even obsessive, crush on Mark Jefferson?" I asked, receiving the most attacked look ever from mentioned man. Victoria seemed like she could kill me right now.

"You know what, whatthefuckever. Max thought we were gonna be buds. Fucking ha ha," she snapped. "It's not like if I really want to hang out with you because I think you're cute for a hipster dweeb or anything," she swatted her hand and walked off. A second later she had returned. "Oh yeah and Vortex party on Friday. If you're not such a bitch by then, I'll write you onto the VIP club list," ah yes, all I wanted in life. The only reason I had come to this school, become another Vortex whore. The Whoretex club. The very best. Victoria walked off again. She came back. "Oh yeah and I don't have an absolutely weird, even obsessive crush on Mark Jefferson."

"You have an absolutely weird, even obsessive crush on Mark Jefferson?" If there was anybody who knew all the gossip, mostly lies though, it was Dana. And there she was already tweeting all about it. Victoria and Dana began to argue, I slipped away into maths class.

I checked my phone.
'Vortex club party on Friday-' blah blah blah.
'Queen of the Vortex club: Mrs. Jefferson?' Somebody call Victoria cuz her secret is out.
'Missing tablet: big reward'
'TABLET FOR SALE WITH 5GB OF CAT PICTURES HAHAHA' I bet those two last ones have nothing to do with each other.
'Rabbit lost: Alice' Kate's bunny. Kate's bunny was like milk...2% fat, 98% sin and 100% white. Alice always looked at you with those small, black, beady eyes like she knew why you deleted your internet history. It probably creeped out Kate too, no wonder she is always talking about Jesus. Must. Impress. Bunny. Or die.

I am not a bunny person.

In the next entry

'Look I don't care what movie it is, did you bang yet'

"Dude I'm just trying on Chloethes!"
-
"I am disowning you."

Slowly...Lisa made her way to the door. One small step for plant, but a big leap for...plant.