I'm A Loser

Chapter 42.

As the days wore on I slowly began to find my way on my own again. That is with a little help from George and even Paul. While Stu was off in classes, the two helped me get my things out of the apartment I once called home and helped me move it back to my old home. Dad and Sarah were estatic to let me move back in. My little sister even began to notice a change in her surroundings. Often reaching for me in her highchair or mumbling happily when she saw me. She was a cute kid. I just didn't plan on changing her diapers.

I moved, found something to keep me busy thanks to Sarah's studio in London. It was basically an apartment full of photographers and workers who owned an open gallery for the public. People thought she was crazy for her work but I had to admit, her photos were brilliant. It was because of her, I found myself beginning to take photography seriously. She became my own personal teacher, often taking me to museums and taking trips to London or just down to a shop for some tea. We began to get closer and closer and it wasn't until the beginning of May, I called her mom. She was all tears and we ended with a crying scene. Dad was thrilled.

As for George and I, we began to become those close friends from before. The two who felt naughty to knick a record or eight from the music shop. The two who stayed up all night listening to Little Richard or groovin to Buddy Holly. We never had sex again. But I didn't need it. We were friends and that's all that mattered. He was a naughty little thing now and then sneaking a kiss or two. And I'd let him. He'd always beg me to come to their practice or gigs. But I didn't. I knew she'd be there. And Peter would just make a scene again. So here I stayed alone being my own person. But not all was always great.

George was failing school. Paul was failing school. John dropped out and managed to talk Stu into focusing on the band and abandon his art completely. It bugged me to be honest. Stu and I made the decision not to rid our marriage. I was still a part of him as he was with me. But this wasn't him. He was changing before my eyes and I couldn't do anything about it. As for Tiffany....
...

Four Months Later
June 23, 1960

I loaded my camera with film that Thursday afternoon, sitting at the kitchen table with my work spread in front of me. Sarah walked into the room with Anna in her arms. She was mumbling and shaking her rattle in her small hand.

"Need company?" Sarah smiled.

"I could use some. Just a bit frustrated."

She sat and settled Anna in her chair to eat. I brushed her hair away from her eyes and smiled as she looked at me.

"Are you still thinking about calling on for the ad in the papers?" She asked, getting some coffee.

"I was yeah. First I have to take these down to the studio."

"Let me see!"

Mom walked over and looked through the pictures of flowers, skies, the trollys and even a few people and mothers with children who let me snap a few for my project.

"What do you call it?" She asked.

"People of Liverpool." I smiled. She giggled and sat down.

"These are beautiful. Our open show is this Saturday. I'd be proud to say these are my step-daughters."

"Thanks. Look I should get going if I want to check out this ad."

"You're not hungry?"

"I'll get something along the way. Bye Anna." I kissed her chubby cheek. She just giggled.
...

I walked along the empty street, just letting my mind wander and think about a certain someone. And to my sarcastic surprise, he happened to be walking right smack into me.