Nightmares & Daydreams

Divorce

It'd been a week since Ciel had sent the letter to the Midfords asking to call off his and Lizzie's engagement. They'd sent a reply asking to speak to the Earl in person. 'Typical.' Ciel had expected a reply like that, and now he stood in front of the manor, growing increasingly nervous. He was dressed up in one of his best outfits, and he clenched and unclenched his fists in anxiety. A hand rested on his shoulder, and the Earl turned his head to see Sebastian smiling down at him.
"You don't have to be so nervous. These are the Midfords. You've known them all your life." He told his master.
Ciel swallowed and nodded, just as the door in front of him opened. Lizzie's father opened the door. His expression was sullen, and he didn't seem happy. Still, he invited Ciel in politely. "Everyone has gathered in the parlor." The Earl was informed, and lead through another set of doors to see two other pairs of eyes on him. Francis Midford, Lizzie's mother, and Edward Midford, Lizzie's brother sat separate from each other in the assorted couches and armchairs. Sebastian stayed at the back as Alexis Midford, Lizzie's father, lead Ciel to a seat. Edward was the first to speak. "Really Ciel. Of all the times I showed my distaste to your engagement, I never thought you'd actually call the whole thing off."
Ciel ignored the statement, looking around. "Where is Elizabeth?" He asked.
Francis answered this time. "At the moment she's up in her room. She said she wanted to talk to you about it herself afterwards." Ciel felt a pain in his chest. 'I've hurt her.' He thought, suddenly hating himself for what he's done.
Lady Francis's usual uptight and strict demeanor had gone, and now she frowned disapprovingly at Ciel, but with air of patience around her. "I must say, I was quite shocked when I received your letter. It's rather sudden, is it not?" She asked.
Ciel answered, trying to keep as composed as he could. "Sudden wouldn't be the word I'd use. My reason is actually closely tied to the fire several years ago, and when I was taken away." He wasn't lying. He just didn't think it a good idea to speak the whole truth.
"I knew it you didn't find another woman." Edward put in. "You could never meet one, let alone woo one, seeing as how you're incredibly unsociable."
Ciel shot him a glare. "You've always got some reason to despise me." He observed. "You've broken my sisters heart!" Edward exclaimed. "Of course I have reason to despise you!"
"Edward." Alexis warned his son. "Do try to contain yourself." He then turned to Ciel. "You say your reason is related to the time you spent kidnapped?" Ciel nodded. "Yes. I kept telling myself it wouldn't affect me, and especially not Lizzie, but I realize I was wrong. I don't think I could keep her happy." He explained.
"Did they... Do things to you?" Edward asked, suddenly interested.
"No! It's just- hm." Ciel faltered, "I d-don't want to talk about it." He looked down at his feet, twirling his thumbs. "Of course." Francis spoke in a tone the Earl had never heard her speak in before.
Just then a soft knock sounded from the door, and a blonde head poked through. "Ciel?" The girl asked quietly.
Ciel looked up. "Elizabeth!" He exclaimed, and stood. He looked around at the Midfords.
"Excuse me." He mumbled as he walked over to where Lizzie stood. He shot a glance at Sebastian as he slipped behind the two large doors to where his fiancée was waiting for him. "Ciel. Do you really want to call of the engagement?" She asked timidly. She looked upset, but her cheeks were dry, and her eyes were far from red.
Ciel nodded, swallowing the lump in his throat. "Yes." He confessed. "Lizzie. I'm not the person you think I am. I'm not the Ciel you've come to know. And plus, I'm not sure how much longer I'll even be around."
Elizabeth blinked. "What do you mean you're not sure how much longer you'll be around?"
Ciel stared at his feet. He was giving away too much information, but he wasn't sure how else to explain things. "It's just, being Queen's Watch Dog and all, I've got responsibilities, as well as people hunting me, and well..." He knew he was just droning on. He took a deep breath and forced himself to look at his fiancée. "Okay, Lizzie? There's more to my kidnapping a few years ago than you know. I made a deal back then that will cost me my life. That's all I can tell you." He looked down and realized at some point in his explanation, he'd taken Lizzie's hand. He let go immediately, just as a flurry of pink and blonde hair came flying at him. "Oh, Ciel!" Lizzie's high pitched squeal sounded in the Earl's ear, making him flinch. "Why didn't you tell me about this before? Why would you even make a deal like that? And why can't we be together until this deal together is over? Why now?" Ciel tried to pry the girls arms off him. "Lizzie. Please. I told you that's all I can say about it. I plan on calling off the engagement for reasons I can't speak of, or my status as Earl is at stake. You promise to keep everything I've told you a secret?" Lizzie gave Ciel a nod, tears welling up in her eyes. "A-as long as you're happy; as long as you enjoy the life you have left, I won't try to stop your decisions." She told him.
Ciel breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank you." He told her.
The two of them stepped through the doors again to where the rest of Lizzie's family and Sebastian were waiting. "I think we've cleared up the things that needed to be cleared up." He announced. He exchanged goodbyes with the Midfords. Said goodbyes lasted much to long as they were frequently interrupted by questions the Midfords still had. Ciel refused to answer each and every one of them.
Outside, Sebastian helped Ciel into the carriage. "You stretched the truth quite a bit back there." Sebastian said, a slight frown on his lips. "Don't you think they will become suspicious?"
Ciel sighed and relaxed in his seat. "Society views men who love other men as animals, or rather, monsters. According to them, I could have some serious disease." He explained.
Sebastian looked away. "We've gotten ourselves into a mess, haven't we?" He said before closing the door and climbing up behind the horses. The two of them started got home.