Nightmares & Daydreams

A Deal Is A Deal

Ciel sat behind his desk. He twirled the pen in one hand, and chewed at his fingernails of his other. In front of him was a stack of papers. He waited impatiently for Sebastian to bring up the snacks he'd demanded. Soon, a tap came from the door, and it opened. A tall, dark clothed man stepped into the room. He made his way to the desk, and placed a tray of snacks on the smooth wooden surface. "How's everything coming?" Sebastian asked.
Ciel sighed, picking up a scone. "Slow. Who knew a divorce would result in so much paperwork? We weren't even married yet!" He ran his hand through his hair in frustration. Sebastian chuckled and pulled up a chair. He sat down beside Ciel, and picked up the boys chin. He leaned forward and gave him a quick kiss. "If there's anyway I can help, let me know." He told his master.
Ciel smirked, then slid the stack of papers across the desk towards his butler. "Here. If there is anything you can fill out, please do so. I'll work on this pile." He motioned to a second stack that lay abandoned.
"You sure are quick to give me work." The demon mused, a smirk on his lips. He picked up a quill, and read over the first page. "You asked me if I wanted help." Ciel replied pointedly.
There was a long, awkward feeling pause, and the boy felt Sebastian shift uncomfortably next to him. He frowned, wondering if asking for his butlers help had suddenly made him uneasy. "Ciel..?" Sebastian asked after a while. Ciel blinked. He wasn't often called by his first name. He glanced over at the demon, who continued to speak, looking down at his gloved hands. "I... I don't want to take your soul."
Ciel frowned. He'd suspected it would come up sometime, and already knew his answer. "No, Sebastian. A deal is a deal. You can't take it back."
Sebastian looked up pleadingly at his master. "Bocchan, please. I can't do it. I can't be the one to end your life."
Ciel bit his lip and looked away. He decided to tell Sebastian what was really on his mind. It pained him, and he struggled to get the words from his mouth. A tear escaped him, and he crawled onto his butlers lap. Burying his face into the demons shoulder, he whispered in a choked voice, "Sebastian. Please don't make me live for longer. Please don't make me endure it any more." He found himself begin to sob as he admitted what he'd kept buried at the back of his mind.
"C-Ciel....?" Sebastian stared at the weeping boy in his lap in shock. "What are you saying? You WANT me to take your soul? You WANT to die?"
Ciel nodded, his cheeks now soaked. "I-I'm sorry, Sebastian. I'm so sorry." He gripped at his butlers coat.
Sebastian shook his head in an attempt to clear it. "No, Bocchan. There's no need for you to apologize. It's just... It's all so sudden. Why would you agree to end your engagement with Lizzie if you were planning on your life ending soon afterwards?" He managed to keep his tone composed, though part of him wanted to scream, and knock some sense into the boy.
Ciel let himself calm down a bit before speaking. "I've been content knowing that when the whole revenge thing has passed, I'd be able to go to the one place I belong, and you'd be the one to take me there. Knowing that my time was running out, I want to spend my days with you, not holding back and feeling guilty about hurting my fiancée."
Sebastian tightened his embrace around Ciel. "But Bocchan, you belong here in my arms, alive and well. Are you not happy here? Are you not happy with me?"
Ciel swallowed, "Sebastian." His voice came out as a pitiful whine, and if he weren't so upset, he'd have been terribly embarrassed. "Sebastian stop. I love you. I enjoy every minute with you, but I can't stand going on living when I should be dead. I can't stand the memories, the nightmares, the way my past haunts me. Sebastian I'm alive only because I decided to seek revenge on my parents murderers, and I'm going to end it the way it started. Please." He looked into Sebastian's eyes, and the demon could see a sense of eagerness in the two blue orbs. He felt helpless against the boy's rush of human emotions he was just beginning to understand.
"Okay." He agreed in a mumble, unsure what else to do. If this was truly the way Ciel felt, then he wanted to do what brought Ciel the most happiness. 'A deal is a deal.' He reminded himself reluctantly, but told Ciel, "If you happen to change your mind about this, please let me know. I'll be most relieved."
Ciel shook his head. "I won't change my mind."