yes, sir ; luke hemmings

f i v e

the period drew to a close and, while everyone else left the class in a hurry, i packed up slowly.

if mr hemmings wanted to keep me back, i'd be missing maths. i'd be missing calum. but i supposed it didn't matter anyway. he wouldn't like me now, would he?

i looked up from my bag to see mr hemmings sitting on top of his desk, looking at me with something in his eyes that could only be described as concern. he stood up and walked towards me until he was right in front of me, the smell of his aftershave filling the air around us.

"are you okay, natalie?" he asked, reaching out to touch the top of my arm.

i couldn't help but think this was a bit odd. i mean, a literal teacher, who had to be at least seven years older than me, was touching my arm.

"not really," i mumbled, looking at the floor instead of meeting his brilliant blue eyes.

"what's wrong?" he asked. "you can tell me. you can trust me."

i shook my head. "no i can't. i can't trust anyone." and it was the god damned truth.

his gaze bore into me. "yes you can. i won't judge, i promise."

i looked up at his eyes, finally meeting them with my own. "promise?" i whispered.

i regretted it as soon as the word passed my lips, but i couldn't very well take it back now.

he nodded, smiling slightly and removing his hand from my arm as he leaned back against a random desk behind him, taking his metal lip ring into his mouth.

i took a deep breath, trying not to cry. "i. . . look, i was. . . i've been so stupid." i swallowed thickly, wiping a stray tear from my cheek. "well, this guy. . . michael clifford, he's an asshole. . . he texted me. i don't even know how he got my number but. . . sir, i did something i shouldn't have."

when i looked back up at mr hemmings, he was frowning slightly, looking worried. ""did you send this boy nudes, natalie?"

i took a deep, shuddering breath. "yes, sir."

and then i broke down.

sobs racked my body and i could barely keep my weight up anymore. i let go of the chair beside me and fell forward, but was promptly caught by the arms of my english teacher. i couldn't stop crying. i was a complete mess.

my heart ached in my chest as i realised the full extent of what had happened.

mr hemmings was the only thing holding me up, and he gently shifted me so one of his arms was round my shoulders and the other was supporting my waist. he carefully transported me to his desk as i sobbed and sat me in his chair, pulling a chair out to sit in front of me.

the room was too hot, then it was too cold, and i couldn't quite seem to catch my breath at all. i took a large breath and chocked, my airways becoming constricted. and then suddenly the walls where coming in on me and the room was spinning and my heart was beating at a hundred miles per hour.

i felt a hand on top of mine as i struggled to breath. i felt like i was going to die.

"natalie? natalie, look at me." me hemmings' voice spoke in a soft but authoritative tone. "c'mon, look at me, pet."

"i-" i tried to talk but i couldn't. what was happening to me. "wha-"

i suddenly felt a warm, large hand on my cheek, forcing me to look into me hemmings' large, blue eyes. "natalie, please look at me. you're having a panic attack. breath, come on, breath."

my breathing still wasn't settled and i was shaking and sweating more than i ever had before in my life.

"you're okay. i'm here. i've got you. you've got this, natalie. you're okay." he repeated over and over again, a hand resting on my knee.

i closed and eyes and blocked out everything but mr hemmings' voice, trying to take long, deep breaths. in for five, hold for three, out for seven. i was going to be okay.

soon enough, everything was back to normal, and i opened my eyes to see one worried english teacher. he reached behind me and grabbed something, offering it to me. i took it, realising it was a bottle of water, and unscrewed the cap with wildly shaking hands, before taking a long sip.

mr hemmings' lips curved into a sad smile as i removed the water bottle from my lips. "how are you feeling?"

"fine," i mumbled, looking at my feet as a tear fell from my eye.

"hey, natalie, what just happened was completely normal. it's nothing to be ashamed of." mr hemmings told me.

"no. it's. . . it's not the panic attack i'm ashamed of," i murmured, feeling my cheeks burn and looking down at my lap.

"look, natalie, we're going to get this sorted out. you're going to be okay, i'll make sure of it. do you trust me?"

i didn't know what to say. did i trust mr hemmings? after all, he had been a total dick to me the day before, so why should i trust him?

why was i even debating this? i didn't know what would've happened if i'd had a panic attack and he wasn't there. he knew exactly what to do. he helped me. of course i trusted him.

i nodded, making full on eye contact with him, and i could've sworn i saw the beginnings of a smile on his face.

"good. now, do you feel well enough to go to class? or do you want to stay here until the end of the day?"

i contemplated what he just said. i couldn't go back to class. i was a mess, and anyway, calum would be there. he probably hated me by now.

i shook my head at the blond. "do you mind if i just stay here?"

he smiled. "of course. take a break. and drink the water, it'll help."

i bit my bottom lip as he turned away to gather his paperwork. "sir?" i called, clearing my throat slightly.

"yes?" he asked, facing the other way, stacking up his papers.

"t-thank you. . . for everything." i whispered, barely able to find the words to express my gratitude towards him.

he looked over his shoulder at me, grinning so he showed his perfect, white teeth. "it's no problem, natalie. no problem at all."

***

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