A Brand New Little Britain Episode

Linda Flint - Bonnie and Clyde

INT. LINDA'S OFFICE - DAY

NARRATOR (V/O):

Meanwoo, at this university, Linda Flint is enjoying a large meal of cheese on crackers.

LINDA:

(To her toy Gromit) Cracking cheese, Gromit. (There's a knock on the door). Just a minute. Finish this up. (She finishes her last cracker). Come in.

A very young woman with scruffy blonde hair and wearing yellow glasses and a strange-looking quiet young man comes in with her. They both sit down.

LINDA (CONT'D):

Oh, hello. What can I do for you two?

WOMAN:

I'm Maggie Duncan and this is my friend George Thomas.

GEORGE:

Hello.

MAGGIE:

We're struggling with our course and we only need support staff to explain stuff to us and then we can get through it.

LINDA:

What are your problems?

MAGGIE:

He has asperger syndrome and I have dyslexia.

LINDA:

All right, I'll give Martin a call and see what I can do. (She dials the phone). Martin, it's Linda. I've got two students here who need support staff so they can pass their course. It's Maggie and George. How can I describe them? They're both beautiful and very polite and very quiet.

George and Maggie smile at this.

LINDA (CONT'D):

Not exactly a strong chemistry like Mickey and Minnie Mouse. Quite a lot of hard work, which could give you a headache. Not worth taking a bullet for. That's right: Bonnie and Clyde!

George and Maggie are very upset by these insults. Linda puts the phone down.

LINDA (CONT'D):

He says you'll get the support tomorrow, both of you.

GEORGE:

Well, thanks.

MAGGIE:

See you later.

They get up and begin to walk out. Then they stop when they hear:

LINDA:

Step on it, Velma. Step on it, Velma. Velma, step on it, Velma!

They turn to see Linda shouting at the TV screen and sadly walk out of her office.