A Brand New Little Britain Episode

Marjorie Dawes - Food Fight

INT. FAT FIGHTERS CENTRE – DAY

The members are sat down in their chairs.

NARRATOR (V/O):

This is the place for people to help fat people before they get murdered for being that way.

Marjorie Dawes enters.

MARJORIE:

Hello, fat faces! Today we have a nneeewww game we can play. (Walks over to the table full with food). As it's the last day before the Christmas holidays, I thought we could play this game. I ask a question and every time you get it right, you'll get a treat. Okay, Paul, who are the companions to Texas Pete in SuperTed?

PAUL:

Bulk and Skeleton.

MARJORIE:

No, fathead, it was Bulk and Skull! But I'm being nice. Here, have a chocolate.

She throws the chocolate and it splats right in Paul's face!

MARJORIE (CONT'D):

Okay. Nnneeewww question. Who was the most famous king of the Tudors? Pat?

PAT:

King Henry VIII.

MARJORIE:

No, it was Queen Elizabeth I. Anyway, here's your cream cake for the night.

She throws the cake on Pat's shirt.

MARJORIE (CONT'D):

Okay! Next question. Who was the genius who invented the telephone? Meera?

MEERA:

Alexander Graham Bell.

MARJORIE:

Do it again.

MEERA:

Alexander Graham Bell.

MARJORIE:

Do it again.

MEERA:

Alexander Graham Bell.

MARJORIE:

No, I can't. Do it again.

MEERA:

Alexander Graham Bell.

MARJORIE:

Do it again.

PAUL:

She said, "Alexander Graham Bell"!

MARJORIE:

Hey, I wasn't asking you! But, on the other hand, she tried her best and you helped her so I'll give you both a treat. Open up!

Marjorie flicks a spoon of curry onto Meera's dress and Paul's shirt!

MARJORIE:

Okay, nnneeewww question. Tania, who was the first President of the United States of America?

TANIA:

George Washington.

MARJORIE:

No, it was Abraham Lincoln!

Marjorie throws a bowl of jelly on Tania's head.

MARJORIE (CONT'D):

Well, I'm having a good time, aren't you?

Everyone stares annoyed at her.