The Shit Squad - Modern Hogwarts AU

Drabble 1 - Origins

"Sup, Shit Squad?"

"Yeah how's the Shit Squad doing on this fine evening?"

"Look at the dweebs in the Shit Squad!"

~*~

Down in the bronze basement of Hufflepuff house, there grew a quarrel. On a group of overstuffed couches, there sat a student from each house.

"How about... 'The Weebs' as our new title?" asked Alice, a Ravenclaw, scratching down her newest idea on her clipboard.

"How about: in your dreams?" laughed Sam from Claire's lap.

"Yeah, there is no way in hell we're calling ourselves 'The Weebs'. Not in a million years." said Preston, wiping Cheeto crumbs from his yellow and black robes. "The only hard-core weeb here is you, Al."

"But... what if we add a Z at the end so it's 'The Weebz'?" Alice petitioned.

"Not a chance." said Preston.

"I'd advise you shut up before I shove your expecto patronads so far down your own throat that you snap in half." said the Ravenclaw.

Sam giggled through her thick Slytherin scarf. Claire, a Gryffindor, looked down at her and smiled. "You're such a dork, Sammy."

"Love you too, babe."

"Earth to Juliet and Juliet, we still need a new group name." Alice said, getting annoyed. "I'm tired of being called the Shit Squad."

"Who ever came up with that? What does it even mean?" Claire asked.

"I don't know, but we're changing it right now." stated Alice, clearly annoyed that no one gave a fuck what their name was.

"How about... The 'expecto patronads'. I kinda like that one," giggled Sam.

"Yeah me too. It has a nice ring to it." Claire agreed.

Alice glared at them, "You're kidding."

"Sorry Al, majority rules," Preston laughed. "All in favor of calling ourselves 'the Expecto Patronads' raise your hand." Preston, Claire, and Sam raised their hands. "Then it's settled."

Alice whipped out a manga and buried her head in it, "I hate you guys."

"Alright gonads, we're out of here. Peace." Claire announced, picking Sam up my her waist.

"Apparently I'm going with her, so bye guys, see ya tomorrow." Sam said, not even attempting to escape the loving death-grip of her girlfriend. Claire nuzzled into Sam's green and silver scarf and planted a kiss on her neck as they approached the staircase, and with that, only the Ravenclaw and the Hufflepuff were left.

"I... I'm gonna go make some Polyjuice. I have, like, four orders I need to catch up on." Alice said, getting up.

"You know you're gonna get caught one day." Preston said.

"For two galleons a dose, I'd say the risk is worth it. Smell ya later, huff-and-puff."

"For the last time, not all Hufflepuffs are stoners! Ugh, whatever." He said, stuffing his face with another hand full of Cheetos. 

-by AM