Clean ⇔ Cashton ✓

How Did Love Become So Violent?

CALUM

I always have two different reactions when Luke tells me we are visiting one of his parents. Two very different reactions that expose itself in my head. One is good, and one is bad. And unfortunately tonight, my reaction was bad.

Luke's father, Andy, is as kind as a rose's thorn. He's a government official, some sort of high up representative that is well respected in the community. He's stern, bold, controlling in every shape and form. He's like Luke, except that he lacks the warm side of him. Andy is nothing but sharp edges.

It's no wonder he raised Luke, which goes without question. When Andy and Luke's mother got divorced, Andy gained custody of Luke. Because of this, I blame Andy for Luke's controlling personality and his strong opinions. Luke and Andy are one of the same, and being in the same room as them at once is absolute torture.

Of course, it would be idiotic for me to actually say that out loud. That would be asking for a beating.

Luke's mother, Liz, is everything Andy is not. Kind, caring, charming, etcetera. She works as a schoolteacher, and spends time at home with Ben and Jack, Luke's brothers. She gained custody of them, and it always amazes me to see the difference in the way they grew up. The way their behaviors were formed.

Jack and Ben are possibly the nicest human beings I've ever met. If it weren't that they had the same features as Luke, I wouldn't be convinced that they were related. And it's not that Luke isn't kind, because he is. His anger issues just seem to overpower his kindness at times.

But Jack and Ben don't get angry. I've never seen them angry, not once. Not even when Luke yells at Liz and calls them names, not even when he leaves early and drags me along with him. They just smile through it all, and it makes me wonder how different Luke would be if it were Liz who raised him, and not Andy.

It makes me wonder how different I would be.

Luke breaks the news to me that we're going to dinner with Andy when I get in the car after work. My hair was messy and clothes dirty, still in my uniform from the restaurant. Luke drove us home to change before we went, and I tried to mask my resentment towards meeting with Luke's father.

At home, Luke tells me what to wear and leaves me to it. He picked out a button up dress shirt, a pale blue color that looks far too light on my skin to be complimenting. I slide it on anyway, careful not to brush it against any of the bruises on my upper arms. Luke likes to grab me and yank me around there.

I fasten the button of my black jeans and slide on my Vans, taking my time slowly, even if it makes Luke mad. I hate going to Andy's and I want to stall as much time as possible.

Luke knocks on my door loudly. "You ready yet, babe?" He asks. I brush through my hair hurriedly before opening the door, seeing Luke leaning against the doorframe. He smiles lightly when he sees me, nodding contently.

"You look good," he says, and I thank him quietly as he leads me out the door. As we walk towards his car, I can feel him eyeing my face, making sure I've covered up any injuries with makeup. I have. I don't know what he would do if I hadn't, considering he doesn't like to own up to the fact that he does hit me. If I say anything about it, all he says is that I deserve it.

After so many times, you begin to believe it.

Luke doesn't live far away from his dad. He likes being close by, I guess because of his tight bond with him from his childhood. I personally wish he lived closer to Liz, but she lives in the next city over, taking at least an hour to drive there. It takes a mere ten minutes to get to Andy's, and it makes me want to scream.