Invisible

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Mon. 9:34am
Me: yeah. Hey, what's wrong?
Calum: um I just wanted to tell you that there has been a change of plans

             Mon. 11:13am
Calum: hello? Anna?
Calum: please text back.
Me: sorry I was busy. What do u mean a change of plans?
Calum: I'm really sorry. I don't know how to say this..
Me: just say it Calum. It will be ok. Whatever it is.
Calum: no it won't.
Me: Calum. Tell. Me.
Calum: do u know where I am right now?
Me: the hotel?
Calum: no. We r in Cali...
Me: what?
Me: you're joking right?!?
Me: tell me u r joking?!
Calum: I'm not joking. I'm serious...we had to fly back.
Calum: it was important
Me: so ur just gonna leave without saying goodbye or at least warning us about this?!?
Calum: Anna I didn't want to hurt you.
Me: what? So you think it's ok to tell me over texts and not in person!!
Calum: Anna don't.
Me: don't what? Are you kidding me?! I can't believe you. What about everything?
Calum: I'm so sorry I should've told you. I just didn't want to hurt you. Plz forgive me.

There are no words to describe my feelings correctly. Betrayal? Anger? Rejection? Maybe, but it's something more than that. Something stronger. I went to my room, shut the door, turned off the lights, and cried. I cried until there were no tears left. I've always told myself not to waste tears on guys that don't matter, but for once in my life I found one that did. And like all the others, he broke my heart. My fragile, taped together, dying heart. After hours of sitting in my bed alone I heard a knock at my door. I walked through my apartment and opened the door. I stood face to face with my best friends. The smiles on their faces died when they saw my tear stained face and matted hair. "What's wrong?" They asked in unison. "The guys. They left." I broke into tears again and went into the living room. Following me, Chloee asked, "What do you mean left?"
They left you idiot. They went to California without even telling us. I took a deep breath and shook my head. "Calum. M- Michael. Ashton. Luke." I shook my head and Kaybre put her arm around me. "They left. Their," I put my head on my knees and cried harder. "Gone." I whispered to no one in particular. "They weren't supposed to be gone until next week." "Their gone,Allie. I don't know. Calum texted me. Their in California."

There was a long silence then Kaybre spoke up, "He texted you? He didn't even tell you in person?" I gave her my phone and she started reading the messages. When she was done she passed the phone around. They all shook their head and sighed.

Three weeks later

Calum's been gone for a while now and my life has gone back to normal so far. College, soccer, homework, friends, sleep, repeat. In such short time I connected with someone whom I thought felt he same way. I shared secrets and embarrassing moments with him and he left. I trusted him but I guess that's what happens when you don't watch your back. You fall, and the falling feels so good. Then you land. And if your not careful the landing will suck. All my life I've been to afraid to step out of my comfort zone, but with Calum it was different. I could be myself around everyone. Now I've gone back to being the one that follows the crowd, tries her best not to stand out. I hate myself when I get this way. I hate it. Why can't I be like everyone else and  talk to people without freaking out?

Why did this happen to us? To me?

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