Beneath You're Beautiful (EDITING)

Chapter 46: Drowning

* Alice's POV *

Once again, I was engulfed by darkness. Maybe I was deep underwater or unconscious. Maybe I was already dead...

I had drowned in the cold sea and left everything behind.

Physically, I couldn't breathe and I couldn't open my eyes- I didn't have to, so maybe I really was dead after all...

Emotionally, I had already drowned as soon as I opened my eyes in a hospital bed. All of the pain and sadness had taken over. It broke my heart and left me breathless, without oxygen or love. I was alone.

Sure, I had my family and friends who would do almost anything to make me happy, but I was still alone. My attachment with Thomas meant that he was the only one that could make me feel whole again.

So this is it? This is how I was going to die. My life was about to end, or perhaps already had, because of a broken heart. A broken heart that had caused me to drown in my own sorrows, how...pathetic. I was weak. I couldn't keep the promise I made to myself many years ago to stay strong and not let anyone get in the way of that. I promised I wouldn't love someone that much, but I did. I loved Thomas more than anything in the world and that made me vulnerable.

If he got hurt, I got hurt. If he died, I died...if I drowned, he drowned.

We would leave this world together. Maybe if somewhere like heaven was real, I would see him again. I would wait. I would wait forever if that's how long it took.

Finally I felt something. I felt my life slipping away. I was slowly drifting to another place with the raging sea, my body as weak as a willow tree.

Surely I was dead now, though, wouldn't that mean I felt nothing at all? Would I be able to think to myself as darkness and silence swept over me.

Never mind, nothing mattered now. I had left this world behind along with all of the things I loved in it. Dramatic right? Well, I guess everyone's a little theatrical at times...

They would get over me though. All of my friends and family would move on and forget all about me, I suppose that was for the best.

I love you Thomas, I thought. I love you so much that it kills me...literally. I was going now, I was about to become apart of the sea...

Suddenly, something pressed down on my chest, pushing it down. I hadn't realised I had left my body till I was dragged back in it and felt the hand push down again. As it did, my senses became clearer and I could hear the crashing of the waves against the rocks and sand. I could smell the salt and feel it burn my throat. The hand pressed down on my chest again and my heart beat harder. Then, sea water came out of my mouth as I coughed and choked.

"Alice!"

My coughing fit slowed down and I was able to breathe. It burned when oxygen entered my lungs, replacing the salty water.

"Alice what the hell do you think you were doing?!"

"...sorry...I...I don't know what happened...one minute I was on the wooden plank...the next..."

"You decided to take a little swim!"

"A dive even!"