A Dark Fall [ORIGINAL & UNEDITED VERSION]

Twenty Five

I feel everything at once. Panicked, excited, terrified, embarrassed, warm, cold.  I'm a myriad of emotion like my mother.

I mean I literally have no clue where his head is right now.  Okay do I ever?   Of course I know that to him we're an 'us', and that he wants this to go somewhere - but where I don't know. 

But I also know, with an almost certainty, that he isn't in love with me. 

"Well?  Did I?" He asks.  I swallow before answering him and hope to god my voice won't betray me.

"Flying colours spring to mind.  Did you have fun?" I ask quietly.  Hopefully if my voice is quiet then there will be less emotion in it.   Less 'I'm in love with you' in it. 

He thinks about it a long moment. "It was a really nice tart," he says with a sideways smile.

I smile back at him and then turn my head straight ahead to focus on the road.  What the hell am I going to do? I've ruined everything. I didn't want this, to be in love, not this soon. I'm such a bloody idiot. I'm head over heels for a man I know almost nothing about and who I've known for less than a month. God this probably happens to him all the time; women falling in love with him at the drop of a hat.  I'm just another one. How utterly depressing.

"What are you thinking about?" he asks.   Okay Alex. Breathe. Fake it.

"Oh Nothing really.  Just tonight.  I'm really glad you came." I turn back to smile at him. Seeing him there, chatting with Dan and Rob and fitting in so well has no doubt pulled me along to this point.  He was so relaxed and so comfortable and it really felt like he belonged there by my side.  Except for the tension with Sherlock.    "Oh and listen, I'm really sorry about Mark, he can be a little overbearing at times. Especially with new folk - it's just his job.  It's automatic I think."  

Jake nods, frowning slightly.  "His Job?" 

"Yeah.  He works for the Met; a detective for the CID specifically. A chief superintendent now I think. He's just really suspicious by nature. Has been as long as I've known him," I explain. An odd look passes over Jake's face, and his jaw begins doing the clenching thing it does sometimes when he's annoyed.  His eyes look dark too. 

"Mark, Dan's brother?  He works for the CID?"  He seems on edge and anxious and I'm not sure why.   Then a moment later it hits me.  God I'm so dense sometimes.  I sit round in my chair to face him. 

"Jake don't worry, I never told him about what happened that night.  About how we met, about what happened to you.   I never told anyone. Even Rob thinks we met at the club opening," I tell him.  He glances round at me, his eyes narrow and suspicious.  It looks like he's trying to figure out if I'm lying or not. Then he turns back to focus back on the road.   "Jake I could lose my job if anyone found out that I treated a knife wound without recording it." I say. I'm actually pretty sure that if Douglas ever finds out he'd go easy on me.  Especially if I put it down to inexperience, or an oversight and that it happened during a drop-in where the rules are ever so slightly different. 

Jake doesn't speak for what seems like ages focusing solely on the road as he bites the inside of his lip.  Perhaps I should have kept my mouth shut about Mark's profession.  I'd just assumed they'd found out about each others occupations at some point during dinner.  I was certain Mark mentioned something, but clearly not.  Actually come to think of it they never stopped trying to out alpha male each other long enough to have any sort of proper conversation.  

"So why didn't you?" he asks finally.  He keeps his eyes on the road.

"What?"

"Why didn't you report it?  I mean if you could have lost your job.  You're a good girl Alex.  An upstanding citizen.  Why wouldn't you report it?  To your detective friend maybe? One phone call - Easy done." His tone is sharp.