A Dark Fall [ORIGINAL & UNEDITED VERSION]

Thirty One

Mark steps into the house and I close the door behind him, gesturing for him to go through to the kitchen.  

"This place looks amazing now.  You and Ben did all this yourselves?" he asks looking around.  When was he here?  Then I remember he came with his then wife, and Rob and Dan to the housewarming Ben and I had thrown when the house was still a shell.

"God no, not all of it.  For the big stuff we hired the professionals," Ben, an orthopedic surgeon was utterly useless at any sort of DIY.  Something we actually used to laugh about.   "The rest was a labour of love."  I say as I walk ahead of him through to the kitchen.    Mark smiles and nods but that serious look doesn't really leave his face.   "Can I get you something to drink?  Tea, coffee?  Something cold?" I ask, heading straight for the kettle.

Mark shakes his head. "No, thanks Alex, I'm good.  You're probably wondering why I'm here?"

"Yes I am.  Rob and Dan related I presume?"  Some surprise he has planned related to the wedding maybe.   

"No. Rob and Dan have nothing to do with this," He purses his lips before taking a deep breath.  "Alex, I wanted to talk to you about Jake." 

My stomach does a little flip flop as his eyes narrow a little on me.

"What do you mean? Oh, wait, is this to apologise for how you treated him at dinner? You were a little rude." I say pointedly.

Mark's expression flickers. "Rude?  Really?  No, that's not why I'm here."

"Ok.. then I don't understand." I say.  

Something has begun gnawing deep inside me though, something small and unwelcome.  Mark stares at me a long time before running a hand through his dark hair.   When he speaks again his voice is serious, and concerned.

"How much do you know about this guy Alex? How well do you know him?"

I flinch a little, as though I've been pinpricked.  I'm not sure why the question is such a shock since it's something I've thought about a lot since I met Jake.  I'm used to asking it.   To myself.    Mark has no right to ask me that.   I feel defensive.

"I know him as much as anyone knows a guy they've been seeing a few weeks." I cross my arms over my body, hating myself for the spin I've just put on that.  He's so much more than a guy I've known a few weeks.  I'm in love with him.   Why am I spinning this?  Mark nods and purses his lips.

"So then you don't know." He says. 

The gnawing sensation that a moment ago was deep and small begins to get a little larger and climb a little higher.

"Know what?"  I frown.

Mark leans up off the counter and it's only then that I notice he has an A4 size brown envelope in his hand.  Why didn't I notice that before?  My body backs away from it slightly, like it might be dangerous.  It looks dangerous.

"Who he is Alex, what he is," he says.    "That he has a criminal record.  That he's been inside.  That if he wasn't so good at hiding what he does then he'd be going back."

The bottom drops out of my stomach a little and some of the air disappears from my lungs.  Inside.  Prison.  The words go in and zip around my head knocking things over.    Then an instant later I feel defensive again, fiercely so, and Mark is the attacker.   What on earth is he doing?  How dare he waltz in here like this and try and ruin everything that Jake and I fixed together yesterday.

I narrow my eyes at him. "Why are you telling me this?" My voice is high and accusatory as I move away from him to go stand by the sink. 

"Because it's true.  I'm telling you because I'm a friend.  You're Dan and Rob's friend and you're my friend and I'm concerned about you.  I'm only trying to help you."  His voice is soft but I hate it.   I hate his soft almost pitying tone.  I hate the words.  They make me feel foolish and sick. Can I throw up in front of Mark?  I sense him come toward me and when I look round he has his arm outstretched, envelope thrust toward me.